Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Flood vic #1: So I said to my boss, “I won’t be able to make the meeting in NYC, because my house is flooded and I had to evacuate.”
Flood vic #2: So what did she say?
Flood vic #1: She said that she was stressed out about having to cancel the meeting and incoveniencing the people in NYC.
Flood shelter cot
Overheard by: sitting on a cot waiting for Noah.
Coordination director to coworker who just asked complicated question: What? I'm eating carrots, so I can't hear. And something in the dressing is making me sweaty. Are you ready for our meeting?
Albany, New York
Overheard by: the equivalent of
Partner to associates at attorney meeting: Billable hours are down for the year. Based on what we’ve billed so far, we have approximately four attorneys too many… assuming people are fungible.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Manager: Ok. Since it seems like [Dougie] doesn’t want to be a part of the team and show up for meetings, [Steve], from now on, when you send out meeting requests, make sure the invitation is sent to him personally.
[Steve]: So basically, I should click a few more times to enable this otherwise unacceptable behavior?Manager: Right.
[Steve]: Got it.214 West 39th Street
New York, New York
Middle aged woman going to sorority reunion: Isn't Spencer's like a five and dime store?
Friend: No! It's a nasty, nasty, dirty store. I can hardly stand to go in there.
Middle aged woman: Well, what did you go there for?
Friend: I had to get a blow-up doll. They didn't have any.
Airport
Birmingham, Alabama
Man: Wow, I still can't believe they're laying off so many people. It's going to be really sad.
Woman: Yeah! Just think how little our potluck days are gonna be!
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Person #1: Where is Marcelo?
Marcelo (walking in conference room): You didn't tell me the time of the meeting changed! You gave me your shaft!
(silence, followed by uncontrollable laughter)
Person #2: Whoever is teaching Marcelo English slang, please stop.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Highly Amused
Office grunt #1: I hate all these fucking meetings!
Office grunt #2: Didn’t you set this meeting up?
Office grunt #1: Yeah, but that’s not the point.
Oil company office
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Lara
