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Female peon: Linda*, I heard you are on a diet again!
Linda: Why? D’you have a diet?
Female peon: No, I am just clarifying. This way when I see you eat certain things, I can remind you that you are on a diet.

New York City, New York

Posted on April 3, 2008
Advice, Coworkers, Default, Diet & Weight, Dumb Employees, Meals and Snacks, New York, Places, Smart Employees

He’s Imagining a Python Swallowing a Pig

Assistant eating sub sandwich: Man, I’m full already.
Hoochie coworker: You just consumed less than four inches of that thing. Heck, I usually stuff at least a 12-inch down my throat…
Assistant: Uh, yeah, I’m definitely done now…

California

Overheard by: californiatrinity

Posted on April 1, 2008
Bimbettes, Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks

I Call That Time “The Lost Years”

Associate: No, I don’t eat dog food. Maybe I used to…

Vernon Hills, Illinois

Overheard by: just buying candy

Posted on March 31, 2008
Animals, Bosses, Default, Illinois, Meals and Snacks

I Dunno — You’ve Been Pitching That All Week

Girl at lunch table: I’m not musty — it’s her sandwich.

630 Broad Street
Gadsden, Alabama

Posted on March 25, 2008
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks

In North Carolina, You Can Get Anything at a Bait and Tackle Shop

Sales guy: I was thinking of going to Bert’s Bait and Tackle to get some hot dogs for lunch.
Sales assistant: You buy hot dogs at a bait and tackle store?!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on March 20, 2008
Default, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Questions, Sales

Just the Flax, Ma’am

CSR #1: What are you eating now?
CSR #2: Pumpkin Spice Flax granola bar.
CSR #1: Glass?
CSR #2: No… pumpkin spice flax. You know — flax seeds.
CSR #1: Wax?!
CSR #2: Ugh… never mind.
CSR #1: You’re eating wax?!
CSR #2: Never mind!
CSR #1: Okay, see ya!

12 West Valley Avenue
Elysburg, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 19, 2008
Customer Service, Default, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Words

… I Think

Customer: Hmmm… I want something in a waffle cone.
Salesgirl, holding cone: Okay. What would you like?
Customer: Can you do a chocolate dip with that cone?
Salesgirl: No, it’s not strong enough.
Customer: Oh. Well, can you put a small banana split in it?
Salesgirl: Uh, no.
Customer: What about a malt?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer: A milkshake?
Salesgirl: No.
Customer, irritated: Well, what can you do with it?
Salesgirl: I can put yogurt in it.

Frozen yogurt shop
Winston-Salem, North Carolina