Employee #1: Where does our CEO go? He randomly disappears for days.
Employee #2: He goes to CEO mountain, where all the CEOs stand around and circle jerk.
[CEO walks in minutes later.]Employee #1: Hey Ben*, where were you? CEO mountain?
CEO: [Laughs.] Yeah, CEO mountain.
Employee #2: What do you guys do up there?
CEO: We all stand around and talk about our truculent staff.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Office crony #1: Did you hear about the mid-air collision in California?
Office crony #2: Briefly, why?
Office crony #1: I wonder if there’s anyone out in California I don’t like?
Office crony #2: I don’t think so.
Office crony #1: Just my luck…
West Cummings Park
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chuckie Choo
Female employee: [Burps loudly.]Male employee: Ooh, sexy! [Singing.] She’s a lady! Whoa whoa whoa!
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager #1, about speaking at staff meeting: Do you want to go first? Mine is pretty long.
Manager #2: Well, mine is really short, so yeah, it’ll be easier if I go first.
Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: biting my lip
Marketing peon #1: The best tapas I ever had were in Sacramento.
Marketing peon #2: Oh… Uh, you mean, like, the city of?
400 Technology Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: valender
Customer #1: Do you have Freaky Friday?
Clerk: Yes, we have it on DVD and VHS for rental only.
Customer #1: Okay, I’ll take one to buy.
Clerk: We only have it to rent.
Customer #1: Where is the one for sale?
Clerk: We only have it to rent. There are none for sale for that title.
Customer #1: Well, you should have said something in the first place!
Customer #2: Wow… You are really that dumb, huh?
Video store
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dudette
Younger peon: Remember those Richard Scarry books with the animals all dressed up in–
Older peon: I haven’t read kids’ books since the second grade. Seriously.
Younger peon: What, your kids never read children’s books? What kind of parent are you?!
150 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker: Have you been to Foreign Brides* dot com? This is what they do — they send you a picture and string you on. Then they say they need a thousand dollars for a flight. I didn’t send it, because I knew! I knew this was a scam.
8 Cambridge Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Secretary: Why would she take a gun with her to the parking garage? … This is good news!
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: intern
Employee #1: Who’s that new blonde girl that works here?
Employee #2: Which new blonde girl? That doesn’t narrow it down.
Employee #1: You know, the… the slow one. She sounds kind of retarded when she talks.
Employee #2: Kelly*? She’s not retarded, you jerk — she’s from Sweden. English isn’t her first language.
Boston Post Road
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: slurific
