Boss who looks like a leprechaun: Once, a few years ago when I got my hair cut I was stopped twice in a span of six months on the street by people telling me I looked just like Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Shocked employee: Really?
Boss: Well, that was before my face got fat… Never happened again, though.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: WantsToChokeTheBoss
Bearded man in green pixie wig, pink feather boa, and fairy wings: I think about death every day.
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: it’s halloween
Customer: Hi, I’m looking for a climbing plant, but I’m not sure what it’s called. It sounds like ‘clem’-something, or ‘clam’-something?
Employee: Right… Ah, ‘chlamydia’?
Customer: Um… No, that’s–
Employee, yelling over the crowd: Hey, Linda*, I have a customer looking for chlamydia. Do we have that?
Linda: That’s a venereal disease — she probably wants ‘clematis.’
Employee: Hey, she left!
Farmstand on Route 2
Lincoln, Massachusetts
Overheard by: petunias for me, thanks
Air Force interviewer: What did you major in at college?
Interviewee: Chinese. Well, actually, my degree was in ‘Asian and Middle Eastern Languages and Literature.’
Air Force interviewer: Oh, that’s so cool. So, you speak Asian?
Interviewee: Um, yes.
Boston, Massachusetts
Harvard MBA student: So, are you flying back tonight? What airport are you flying into? New York?
Suit: Why would we fly to New York? We’re from Philadelphia.
Harvard MBA student: I didn’t know Philadelphia had an airport.
Suit: It’s the fifth-largest city in the U.S., of course it has an airport.
Harvard MBA student: Largest city? Based on what?
Suit: Uh, population…
<br/Hotel elevator
Harvard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not hiring any MBAs
Hardware tech #1: He probably covered the screwdriver in vaseline and lit it on fire.
Hardware tech #2: Actually, it was a woman. I mean, how dangerous can a woman with a screwdriver be?
460 Hillside Street
Needham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S. Griffin
Professor: It smells like fall, doesn’t it?
Student: It smells like depressing cold and the inevitable onset of winter.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I didn’t smell anything
Guy #1: Hey, you don’t look so great.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m sick, I think I might throw up.
Guy #1: I’ve thrown up lots of times at work… but I was hung-over.
Downtown, Boston, MA
College guy #1: Hey, man. You escape?
College guy #2: Yeah man. I took out the toilet and went through the wall.
333 Western Ave
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: someone standing in line just in front of them
Female employee: Are you limping?
Male employee: Yeah, I tore my ass muscle again.
Female admin: Just stop right there, I don’t want to hear anymore.
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
