Office drone on phone: … So he fit two fingers up his nose?
Back Bay
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused passerby
Office drone on phone: … So he fit two fingers up his nose?
Back Bay
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused passerby
Pudgy girl #1: No, it’s called ‘Plus-Sized Models.’
Pudgy girl #1: Shut up! We fat, girl!
10 Perthshire Road
Brighton, Massachusetts
Little girl holding Bad Santa: Nana, can I get this Santa movie?
Grandmother: No, you can’t.
Little girl: But my mommy and daddy watched it.
Grandmother: That’s because your parents are bad people.
Wal-Mart
Raynham, Massachusetts
Office worker #1: Hey, here’s a great trip — 10 days in Italy and the Holy Land. Where’s the Holy Land?
Office worker #2: Use your head. Where do you think the Holy Land is?
Office worker #1: Venice?
155 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: One Who Knows
Girl: I don’t know, I just hate it when they mixed the coloreds and the whites.
Random passerby: What?
Girl, loudly: What? Ohhh! I mean Christmas lights! I swear. I like houses that are all decorated the same way.
Friend: Just stop talking.
Girl: I am such a dipshit.
43 Leonard Street
Belmont, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i was confused too
Coworker: Like, when the guy comes to the campus center with all the animals, I wanna know about that. I don’t wanna go in and see the trained skunk and think, ‘I’m not ready!’
Amherst, Massachusetts
Interning scientist #1: Dammit, I can’t find my spleen! I lost my spleen!
Interning scientist #2: Well, I have extra spleens — you can have one of mine if it works.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: HK
Boss who looks like a leprechaun: Once, a few years ago when I got my hair cut I was stopped twice in a span of six months on the street by people telling me I looked just like Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Shocked employee: Really?
Boss: Well, that was before my face got fat… Never happened again, though.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: WantsToChokeTheBoss
Bearded man in green pixie wig, pink feather boa, and fairy wings: I think about death every day.
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: it’s halloween
Customer: Hi, I’m looking for a climbing plant, but I’m not sure what it’s called. It sounds like ‘clem’-something, or ‘clam’-something?
Employee: Right… Ah, ‘chlamydia’?
Customer: Um… No, that’s–
Employee, yelling over the crowd: Hey, Linda*, I have a customer looking for chlamydia. Do we have that?
Linda: That’s a venereal disease — she probably wants ‘clematis.’
Employee: Hey, she left!
Farmstand on Route 2
Lincoln, Massachusetts
Overheard by: petunias for me, thanks
