Language barrier

This Time Just Be a Bit More Emphatic with the “Ttthhhhbbtt”

CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.

Financial District
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Alan

And He's Quadrisexual

Clueless coworker, trying to sell candidate to potential employer: Yes, he's bilingual. He speaks five languages!

St. Louis, Missouri

When You Live in California, You Learn Spanish by Osmosis

Anglo coworker during meeting, loudly: Mi lapiz es muy grande!

Air Force Base, California

Overheard by: Joe

Well Played, Gang

Project manger: From now on all of the questions are going to be rhetorical.
Group on speakerphone: [Silence.]Project manager: You know what rhetorical means, don’t you?
Group on speakerphone: [Silence.]Project manager: Anyway…

Fairfax, Virginia

That’s Depends on Where in Europe She’s From

Visiting European account manager: Oh, you have a new cell! I guess it was time to get a new one?
Chinese Project Manager: Yes, this morning I come to work and I am robbed by bandits. So, I have to get a new cell phone.
Visiting European account manager: Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha…ha…Heh. Oh. Oh dear. Are you ok?
Chinese Project Manager (in Chinese): Is she drunk?

188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China

Overheard by: Adam White

You Just Know She’s Hot as Hell

Eastern European cocktail waitress: So what is this “stepping up to the plate” you spoke of in our meeting?
Bar manager: It’s an analogy…OK, it’s like this: in baseball, you step into the batter’s box. You step up to the plate to try and hit a home run. That’s what we need, is home runs here.
Eastern European cocktail waitress: I don’t understand your speech at all.
Bar manager: Great! Now I’m going to have to explain what an analogy is.

Bourbon Street Casino
120 E. Flamingo Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: KellyMarie

The Sun Never Sets on the High-pitched

Smartypants: I don’t know why your voice has to go up five octaves in order for it to be British.

US Capitol Building
Washington, DC

God Save the Queen’s English

US suit: …a dedicated router.
UK suit #1: I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s actually “roo-ter”.
US suit: A rooter is a swine. If you’re going to be in America, speak English.
UK suit #2: Two hundred years, and they still haven’t gotten it yet!

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

11AM I Should Have Known

Co-worker #1: Where should I put all this trash we now have?
Co-worker #2: Oh, just put it over there under the sign marked
“Basura”, she’ll come and pick it up tonight.
Co-worker #1: Are you serious? You know Basura isn’t a person; it means trash in Spanish.

1101 Vermont Avenue NW
Washington, DC

Communication’s Overrated, Anyway

Co-worker: Would you like to receive our free catalog in the mail?
Customer: No speak engliss.
Co-worker: Ha, ha. Oh, that sucks.
Customer: Si.

628 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: Hannah Haddix

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