This Problem Was to Follow Charlie Sheen Into Adulthood

Mother: Do they sell headboards here? I think you should get one that’s attached to the wall. They look better.
Young child: I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.

Home Depot
Perrysburg, Ohio

Overheard by: Treesha

Posted on April 16, 2015
General Idiocy, Kids, Ohio, Parents, Retail

Better Ask Somebody Your Own Age, Kiddo

Six-year-old girl at front desk: Do I look sexy?

1 Main Street
Valhalla, New York

Overheard by: Switters

Posted on April 14, 2015
Kids, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

Let Me See the Money First

Boy, at 2:30 am: Hi, can I have 240 nuggets?

McDonald's
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on April 1, 2015
Canadia, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Wait, If I Just Lock Him in an Empty Room with Some Dog Food in a Bag, I Could Get That New ‘Vette!

Mom, pointing to friend’s child: Say ‘Hello’ to Aidan*.
Shy child hiding face in mom’s leg: ‘Lo.
Mom: If you can’t look at him and ‘Hello’ properly then you can’t have swimming lessons. There, I just saved a hundred and fifty dollars!

145 Harlow Street
Bangor, Maine

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on March 19, 2015
Family members, Insults, Kids, Maine, Money, Offers and requests, Sports, Threats

And It Took Him Three Days to Get Over It

First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!

New York, New York

Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid

Posted on March 10, 2015
Comebacks, Gripes, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Religion, Students, Teachers

Wouldn't It Be Easier Just to SuperPoke Each Other?

Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're a loser!
28-year-old office worker: Well, you're Barack Obama!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: You're John McCain!
28-year-old office worker: You're Sarah Palin!
Seven-year-old coworker's daughter: Well…you're Ashley Tisdale!!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: three_eyed_fish