School social worker, to kindergartner on lap: So what happened right before you ran out of your classroom?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: What do you mean, you’re peeing?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: [jumps up, displaying huge wet spot on her pants]Kindergartner: I TOLD you I was peeing.
5130 Roxbury Road
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Fair warning given
Girl: Ummm… You need boy juices in order to make a baby.
610 Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Nine-year-old girl in child psychology office, talking a mile a minute: And, mom, the teacher was really upset that we didn't know how long a century is! Yeah, she was really upset cause none of us knew!
Mom: Do you know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! I didn't know either! I don't know how long a century is!
Mom, incredulous: You don't know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! How long is it?
Mom, without hesitation: Ten years.
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Which one of you is seeing the therapist again?
Boy to mother: There isn’t any licorice here!
Liquor Store, 1322 West 3rd Avenue
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Eric
Little girl, pointing to Coneheads DVD: Daddy, what’s wrong with those people?
Dad: Oh, they’re just from France.
Blockbuster, University Village
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: David in Seattle
Seven-year-old daughter on speakerphone: I saw a cute mother-daughter necklace at the store. It said “if daughters were flowers I'd still pick you.” See, mom? I'm like a flower! I smell sweet!
Mother: Yeah, and when you die, I'll throw you away.
Pryor, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Danielle
Mother: Tell your aunt what you want to be when you grow up.
2-Year-Old son: A plastic surgeon!
Mother: And why is that?
2-Year-Old son: Because Mommy needs work!
Miss Saigon Café
Hurst, Texas
Overheard by: needo
Teen daughter: Daddy, Daddy, the pink Razr is on sale. Will you buy it for me now? You promised!
Father: No, I don’t need you to get pregnant. Now let’s go!
4350 Joslyn Road
Auburn Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: rahneej
