Well, Except for Everybody Else

Kid: You know, if Europe and the US teamed together the entire world could be white.

675 27th Street
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 11, 2019
Illinois, Kids, Race

Or at Least the Part He’s Kissing

Girl: Auntie Dee*, how did you know Uncle Frank* was in there.
Auntie Dee: Well, Molly*, he’s not in the waiting room, so he has to be in there with the doctor.
Boy peering in window to exam rooms: He’s kissing that nurse like he knows her!

Doctor’s office
Ridgewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Patiently Waiting

Posted on November 24, 2018
Gossip, Kids, New Jersey

Never Bring Your Kids to Work, Dear Reader

VP to secretary's six-year-old daughter: “Hot fireman,” as in “cute” or as in “sweaty”?

568 Broadway, NYC

Posted on November 4, 2017
Bosses, Kids, New York, Questions, Weirdness, Words

Note to Self: Start Packing Billy a Lunch.

Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!

Everett, Washington

Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon

Posted on October 12, 2017
Education, Family, Kids, Meals and Snacks, Parents, Washington, Weirdness

Next You’ll Be Reading Our Subpoenas and Overdue Bills

Young boy: Mom! We’ve been in line for a really long time!!
Mother: No, not really. Stop complaining.
Young boy: Yes we have! We got here at 10:00, and it’s almost 12:30!!
Mother: Damn the public school system for teaching you how to tell time.

Petco
Enfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Dark_Kitty

Posted on November 11, 2016
Connecticut, Family members, Gripes, Kids, Retail, Time Management

Well, Yes, But Only on an Evolutionary Time Scale

Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?

Preschool
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher

Posted on February 28, 2016
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Questions, Race, Texas, The Classroom, Weather

Especially the Cats’ Eyes

Kindergarten boy: Mrs. Jones*, I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: No, you just went.
Kindergarten boy: Please, Mrs. Jones*. I gotta go.
Teacher: No, you were told you had to wait.
Kindergarten boy: But I have to go now! My marbles are itchy!

Manitoba
Canadia

Posted on February 27, 2016
Canadia, Gripes, Kids, Offers and requests, Restroom, Teachers, The Classroom, Time Management, Words

Boys and Girls Are Just Wired Differently, Sweetie

Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.
Dad: Um…don't worry about it.

RadioShack
California

Overheard by: SK

Posted on February 18, 2016
California, Education, Family, Family members, Kids, Parents, Technology

Which in Canada Is Indistinguishable from a Seizure

Teen girl: Oh my god, like, I’m so hyper! I think I have ADD. I can’t stop twitching!
Bystander: No, you just can’t stop feelin’ the rhythm.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on December 31, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Music

I Think I Saw This Episode of The Simpsons

Guy serving lunch: Do you want meatloaf?
Kid: No, I'm a vegetarian.
Guy serving lunch: Not today, you're not! (slaps a big piece of meatloaf on kid's plate)

23rd Street
New York City, New York

Posted on December 25, 2015
Diet & Weight, Employees, Kids, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests