Little girl, pointing at Ann Coulter’s Godless: Who’s that lady, daddy?
Dad: She’s some crazy lady who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Little girl: She looks like she should be in movies.
Dad: [Shocked silence]Little girl: But not very good movies.
Dad: Ha! That’s my girl.
Auntie’s Bookstore
402 West Main Avenue
Spokane, Washington
Teacher: “Uncertain.” What does “uncertain” mean?
7-Year-Old boy: Like you’re not sure about it?
Teacher: Good! What’s an example of something you’re uncertain about?
7-Year-Old boy, after thinking for a moment: God.
1554 Sepulveda Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Teen #1: How far do you think this sweat drop will fly if I smack it with a hammer?
Teen #2: Hey, yeah, like CSI! Your forehead is real sweaty; smack it first.
Habitat for Humanity build site
Mississippi Gulf Coast
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Eight-year-old girl running up to her mother in line: I’m 13, and you don’t know me!
JC Penney
Eugene, Oregon
Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it's on fire. It's not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don't think any blood's coming out.
Redmond, Washington
Five-year-old girl, reading book about whales: Hey mom, does a baby whale really come out of a mama whale's butt?
Mom: Hmmm…
Hygienist: Oh my god, did anyone else hear that?
Dentist Office
Augusta, Georgia
Woman: Be still, we have to wait for our turn.
Kid: Why are we here?
Woman: We’re returning a package.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because I don’t want it.
Kid: What’s in it?
Woman: I don’t know. I think it’s pantyhose.
Kid: You don’t want the pantyhose?
Woman: No, I don’t want the pantyhose.
Kid: Why?
Woman: Because pantyhose are evil.
Post office
Leander, Texas
Overheard by: Faedorah
Mom: Oooh, guess what I got while I was in Atlanta yesterday?
Daughter, faking excitement: Herpes?!
Mom: No, I got– Wait, what?!
Mall
Georgia
Overheard by: P-Nuckle
Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.
6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado
