Associate: Do you think you could survive if we dropped you in the middle of the rainforest?
Temp: No way — I would die for sure.
Associate: What about if we dropped you in a Wal-Mart?
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Associate: Do you think you could survive if we dropped you in the middle of the rainforest?
Temp: No way — I would die for sure.
Associate: What about if we dropped you in a Wal-Mart?
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker to intern: Are you sure they're not taking you out there to kill you?
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Well, after the truckers release their load, they need their hoses to be blown down.
Female intern, trying not to laugh: Hmm, well, that does make sense…
Calgary
Canadia
Intern: So yeah, the first twenty minutes I was just sitting next to him in the breakroom I didn’t say a single word.
Engineer: Does he freak you out that much?
Intern: Well no, I just thought he didn’t speak any English.
Engineer: So you finally said something?
Intern: Yeah, I tried to make some small talk by asking what cubicle he sits in. But he spent the next 5-10 minutes trying to explain.
Engineer: He’s not that bad at English…
Intern: I don’t know. He kept asking what direction was North. By the time I made him point to it, I wished I never said anything. Seriously, what do cardinal directions have to do with your cubicle?
41131 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Intern #1, breaking office silence: I want to go to the zoo.
Intern #2: I hate religion.
(intern #3 chokes and spits water on herself)
Toronto, Canadia
PR gal: We need a really memorable tag line, like “Stop, Drop and Roll” from the ’80s. Whatever happened to that, anyway?
Intern guy: It still works if you’re on fire.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Intern: Holy shit, it’s cold in here!
Sandy*, ancient secretary: Allen*! This a law office — a professional place of business. We do not use profanity in this office. What if a client had been waiting in reception and heard you use that kind of language? In the future I would ask that you refrain from using that kind of language. I’m sure the partners would not appreciate you speaking that way to your coworkers, especially those who are older than you.
Partner, entering five minutes later: Jesus-fucking-Christ, it’s cold in here! Goddamn, Larry* — cheapskate son of a bitch won’t turn the heat on until nine. Sandy, get me Larry’s number so I can give that asshole a piece of my mind. Fucking dick. Every goddamn winter he pulls this shit. And Sandy, make some coffee for these interns — it’s like 40 degrees in here!
Law office
New York, New York
Assistant: You ever do something repeatedly–so much, that you’re like, “Whoa, this isn’t real. I’m not doing this!”?
Intern: Umm…
Assistant: Like, when you’re staring at your face in the mirror for so long that you’re like, “Whoa! That’s not my face! This isn’t real!” Hasn’t that ever happened to you?
Intern: No. That’s usually when I stop drinking.
900 2nd Street NE
Washington, DC
Talent to just-out-of-high-school intern: You should do porn. You have the body for it.
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: we don't have HR issues
Staffer working on Patriot Act: Power is always abused; we were putting the Japanese in intermittent camps in the thirties during World War I.
Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern
