Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
IT chick: Hey, where’s my homies?
Admin: What homies?
IT chick: Devon* and the little guy.
Admin, incredulous: There’s a little guy?!
Little guy in corner, quietly: Thanks.
3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, Texas
In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.
At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.
In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.
[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Breanna Freeman
Sales rep on phone with client: I am Cajun. Yes–that's right: I'm white trash French.
West Village
Manhattan, New York
IT Guy: The last 15-20 minutes of my life have been wasted because you are a moron.
2100 Mckinney Ave.
Dallas, Texas
Bimbette: Yeah, my dad bought me this really great promise ring for my birthday.
Teacher: Isn’t it a little too late?
High school
San Diego, California
Director: …so, do you have any ideas why all these clips are showing up as being not on server?
Engineer: Ah, yes, it’s a procurement error. We bought shit.
201 Wood Lane
Shepherd’s Bush, London
UK
Coworker #1: Go fist yourself.
Coworker #2: You love saying that. I think we should start a national campaign using that slogan!
Coworker #1: I like that idea. We just need someone who’s willing to appear on a billboard with their fist up their ass…
Both coworkers: Carl*!
Route 22 and Colonial Road
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Nathan
