Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Staying coworker: Now that you're leaving, we're going to have to work twice as hard.
Leaving worker: I know, you have to take advantage of the opportunity. Just like I'm going to start being a dick to everyone.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: DIV
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker on phone: You’d be an amazing human being if you brought me some nibbles on your way here. If not, then you’re clearly the mongoloid I always suspected you to be.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
IT chick: Hey, where’s my homies?
Admin: What homies?
IT chick: Devon* and the little guy.
Admin, incredulous: There’s a little guy?!
Little guy in corner, quietly: Thanks.
3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, Texas
In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.
At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.
In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.
[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Breanna Freeman
Sales rep on phone with client: I am Cajun. Yes–that's right: I'm white trash French.
West Village
Manhattan, New York
IT Guy: The last 15-20 minutes of my life have been wasted because you are a moron.
2100 Mckinney Ave.
Dallas, Texas
Bimbette: Yeah, my dad bought me this really great promise ring for my birthday.
Teacher: Isn’t it a little too late?
High school
San Diego, California
