Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Male Student #1: Yeah, and he wouldn't even look at me in the shower.
Male Student #2: What the fuck's his problem?
Chicago, Illinois
Customer: How much does one of those pork chops weigh?
Meat market employee: It depends on how big they are.
Peoria, Illinois
Tech guy: I do have an example dump, if you want to look at it.
Des Plaines, Illinois
Guy to girl: You're crying, you're upset, and you have to show boob when you don't want.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Basia Emano
Foreign assistant: I like when he says “prostitution.” It sounds like a delicious meal.
State & Madison
Chicago, Illinois
Peon to office: Has anyone seen a magazine and some aloe lotion?
Broadway, Chicago
Girl on cell: Should I do breast and leather?
Cicero Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I overdressed?
IT guy #1: Why are they in this order?
IT guy #2: It's alphabetical.
IT guy #1: No, it's not.
IT guy #2: How do you figure?
IT guy #1: S before q.
IT guy #2: Come again?
IT guy #1: You know… S, t, q, v, w, x, y, z. (pause) Wait a minute…
Niles, Illinois
Overheard by: Mosh
Woman to man making pot of coffee: Oh, that smells delicious.
Man: I made a lot, would you like some?
Woman: Perhaps I'll have half a cup later, but right now, I'll settle for a facial.
Evanston, Illinois
