Hard hat #1: I hate television without sex, violence and nudity.
Hard hat #2: You bet!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: loopster
Coworker on phone, complaining: Oh, no! It's my chocolate friend again!
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: nextcube
Musing writer: I'm calling it “His Bag,” because increasing Santa's sack by 3% is just gross.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Supervisor: What are you eating?
Office minion: It's a Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme chocolate bar.
Supervisor: That looks gross! It's all black and white.
Office minion: Are you kidding? It's racial harmony in a bar.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Meha
Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Office know-it-all: When an elephant's trunk is up, it's a good omen. When the trunk is down, it's a bad omen.
Cubicle mate: Isn't an elephant's trunk always down unless it's, like, screaming at you?
Chicago, Illinois
Male attorney to female legal assistant going through files on the floor: That's what I like to see, a woman working on her knees.
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Male manager: It was good, it tasted nice.
Male employee: It tasted like ass?
Male manager: No, it tasted nice.
Male employee: Oh, I don't like ass and I thought you were trying to appeal to my homosexuality.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss to another: I have a policy manual on when to take a dump each day.
Chicago, Illinois
