Office know-it-all: When an elephant's trunk is up, it's a good omen. When the trunk is down, it's a bad omen.
Cubicle mate: Isn't an elephant's trunk always down unless it's, like, screaming at you?
Chicago, Illinois
Office know-it-all: When an elephant's trunk is up, it's a good omen. When the trunk is down, it's a bad omen.
Cubicle mate: Isn't an elephant's trunk always down unless it's, like, screaming at you?
Chicago, Illinois
Male attorney to female legal assistant going through files on the floor: That's what I like to see, a woman working on her knees.
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Joanie
Male manager: It was good, it tasted nice.
Male employee: It tasted like ass?
Male manager: No, it tasted nice.
Male employee: Oh, I don't like ass and I thought you were trying to appeal to my homosexuality.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss to another: I have a policy manual on when to take a dump each day.
Chicago, Illinois
Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Male Student #1: Yeah, and he wouldn't even look at me in the shower.
Male Student #2: What the fuck's his problem?
Chicago, Illinois
Customer: How much does one of those pork chops weigh?
Meat market employee: It depends on how big they are.
Peoria, Illinois
Tech guy: I do have an example dump, if you want to look at it.
Des Plaines, Illinois
Guy to girl: You're crying, you're upset, and you have to show boob when you don't want.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Basia Emano
