Yelling assistant manager, after hitting “print” and hearing printer go “beep”: Don't touch it! I'm coming!
Pekin, Illinois
Yelling assistant manager, after hitting “print” and hearing printer go “beep”: Don't touch it! I'm coming!
Pekin, Illinois
Boss #1: Look at all that red on there!
Secretary: Yeah, well, it's a short paragraph.
Boss #1: Well, you know what they say about guys with short paragraphs…
Boss #2: You get red fast!
Boss #1: It's not the size of the paragraph that matters, it's the frequency.
Oak Brook, Illinois
Boss to employee: Here's a thought: why don't you stop being such a parasite?
Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Customer service manager: He said that since he paid so much for the service contract, we should give him a replacement print head for free.
Sales manager: I'm not giving that fucker any head!
Elk Grove Village, Illinois
Overheard by: Leelluu
Student worker: I'm trying to figure out which class to take. I heard Dr Smith* is a big dick, though.
Graduate student #1: The word you're really looking for is “has.”
Graduate student #2: Well, I guess we all know who's getting that teaching assistant spot.
Charlestown, Illinois
Overheard by: Overworked English Grad
Coworker on phone, complaining: Oh, no! It's my chocolate friend again!
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: nextcube
Musing writer: I'm calling it “His Bag,” because increasing Santa's sack by 3% is just gross.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Supervisor: What are you eating?
Office minion: It's a Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme chocolate bar.
Supervisor: That looks gross! It's all black and white.
Office minion: Are you kidding? It's racial harmony in a bar.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Meha
Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
