Guy #1: Oh, that's sticky. Touch it.
Guy #2: I don't want to touch it. I just washed my hands.
Guy #1: Come on!
Guy #2, touches rubber stamp: Oh, that is sticky! Gross!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Guy #1: Oh, that's sticky. Touch it.
Guy #2: I don't want to touch it. I just washed my hands.
Guy #1: Come on!
Guy #2, touches rubber stamp: Oh, that is sticky! Gross!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Office gossip to another: They can have their royal tea wedding and we'll have our pirate fun separately!
Naperville, Illinois
Program director: I'm going to see my OB next week, I haven't seen him in three years!
Male executive assistant: Is that your grandfather?
Program director: Yes.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Adrienne
Vice principal at Catholic high school: I'm really into sausage.
Aurora, Illinois
Middle-aged woman: Can I have extra sauerkraut with that? I love sauerkraut but never get it at home, even though I live in a neighborhood with lots of German food. It gives me gas.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: formerteenhero
Office guy #1: It's a little cold, both inside and outside.
Office girl: But not in our hearts!
Office guy #2, points at girl's coffee mug: What are you drinking?
Office girl: Brandy.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Marketing drone: There is an island near New Guinea where all the animals are small. There is a pygmy puma that survives on moths.
(silence from marketing room)
Marketing drone: Moths!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sumi
Boss on phone: So take a Sudafed, wash it down with a glass of whiskey. You'll sleep for twelve hours. It says “don't take with alcohol,” which means you should definitely take it with alcohol.
Highland Park, Illinois
Overheard by: Office Peon
Coworker #1: We should have a race to see who can put the windows in faster!
Coworker #2: Wait, does anyone even know how to put windows in?
Coworker #3, making inappropriate hand motions: I do! You just put it in the hole and nail it!
Pekin, Illinois
