Courtyard dweller #1: I am not sure I should hire him.
Courtyard dweller #2: Why? He seems cool enough.
Courtyard dweller #1: I asked him what he was listening to on his iPod when he walked in.
Courtyard dweller #2: Yeah, and?
Courtyard dweller #1: He was listening to Celine Dion.
Courtyard dweller #2: Enough said.
10050 Wolfe Road
Cupertino, California
Project manager, about interviewee: He's like Ted Bundy sexy!
Ada, Michigan
Overheard by: Just a temp
Colleague: What happened to the woman who used to process requisitions? Her office looks deserted.
Secretary: She’s gone.
Colleague: Is she going to be replaced?
Secretary: We don’t replace people in this office; we just hire someone new.
1400 John R. Lynch Street
Jackson, Mississippi
HR manager: How long do you plan to be with the company?
Girl interviewee: Until I find something better.
HR manager: Okay, I think that about does it. Thank you for coming in.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Manager: Look at this, this lady put “dictaphone” under skills on their resume.
Worker: What? A dickaphone? Was she a phone sex operator?
1402 Harborside Drive
Galveston, Texas
Overheard by: ladyinthemidst
Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
Auto claims adjuster on phone: I'm authorized to offer you $1,000 for the pain and suffering I'm about to give you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Peon: Oh, you're going downstairs? Can I get a fag yogurt?
Manager: A… what?
Peon: A fag yogurt. (pause) Well, it's spelled f-a-g-e but we pronounce it the other… way. It's kind of… funny. (long pause) Am I fired?
Manhattan, New York
Ex-employee: I just got let go.
Employee: Really? What did they say?
Ex-employee: “Bye.”
4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas
White guy #1: I got fired because I am a white male!
White guy #2: I might be going out on a limb here, but could the fact that you got drunk and threw a Japanese lantern into the front door of the hotel have anything to do with it?
White guy #1: No…it's because I am white!
Irving, Texas
