Office girl, sick for some time: I puked in my mouth again. I just swallowed it. What else you gonna do? It's so disgusting!
Portland, Oregon
Office girl, sick for some time: I puked in my mouth again. I just swallowed it. What else you gonna do? It's so disgusting!
Portland, Oregon
Manager: How’s your mother?
Employee: She’s coming home tonight. They wanted to put her in a nursing home, but I said, ‘No way.’ Not at Christmas.
Manager: Doesn’t she need that level of care?
Employee: Not at Christmas, she doesn’t.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Loud cube rat: It's just a booger! You want a booger?
Normal cube rate: No, but let me help you out. (pulls out a Kleenex)
Mebane, North Carolina
Overheard by: Horrified
Two maintenance guys arrive to vacuum a cubicle after part of the ceiling fell.
Maintenance guy, 40s: See, he’s what you’d call a male chauvinist pig. He thinks vacuuming is something that a woman should do. Now, I don’t look like no woman.
Maintenance guy, 20s: No, but you look like a dyke.
Maintenance guy, 40s: I look like a dyke?
Maintenance guy, 20s: Easy, Grandpa, easy!
Maintenance guy, 40s: Oh, I’m Grandpa now?
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Sales rep #1: So can you get pregnant from your boyfriend accidentally ejaculating in you?
Sales rep #2, shocked: Uhhh… Yeah.
Sales rep #1: Crap. Well, if I'm not here later this week it's because I'm getting an abortion, okay?
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Still confused
Girl #1: Actually, I think her parents were brother and sister by adoption.
Girl #2: Does that mean she's an albino?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Male software engineer to another: Yeah, I don't know what to say… I mean, I'm not a gynecologist or anything.
Software Company
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Monkey
Partner: Call Greg* and have him look over these documents.
Associate: Greg had surgery yesterday and is in the hospital. Do you want to call someone else to review them?
Partner: No, Greg can do it. It’s not like he’s dead.
Associate: Okay, I’ll call him in the morning.
Partner: No, call him now. It’s not like he has anything better to do tonight.
Law firm, 1201 Elm Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: jennifer
Nurse #1: I have the worst zit right now.
Nurse #2: Seriously, I'm like a walking ad for herpes!
Hospital
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Hoping you're only talking about that cold sore…
Middle-aged female employee: Where's the protein in that young lady?
Middle-aged manager, excited: There's lots of protein. Lots and lots!
Marlborough, Massachusetts
