Hot executive assistant: It was the dirtiest cab I'd ever been in my life. The front seat was covered with Penthouses and used tissues.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Free Time on His Hand
Hot executive assistant: It was the dirtiest cab I'd ever been in my life. The front seat was covered with Penthouses and used tissues.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Free Time on His Hand
Female boss to two employees: Okay, we really need to get you both on health insurance because (pointing at slutty employee) you're gonna get knocked up and (pointing at other) you're gonna squash your melon somehow.
Aspen, Colorado
Overheard by: wah wah wahhhh
Employee: No one comes here anymore, it’s too crowded.
383 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: kt
Doctor #1: I always say, “Carrots are like sandpaper for the colon.”
Doctor #2: Yeah, see, most people I know just eat them.
1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Secretary: Now the plant's by me, I can make sure none of you are over-watering it!
Random office peon: Or urinating in it when no-one's looking.
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: pretty sure that happened
Jenn: Oh my god, Anne, I can smell that from here!
(everyone in cubicles around Jenn and Anne look up at Anne)
Anne (looking horrified): I'm peeling an orange! She's smelling my orange!
Kent Street
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Waiter: There's a fly buzzing around. I kept him off your food.
Manager: Ah, it doesn't matter. Nobody ever died from that.
Waiter: Nobody ever died from licking my balls, either. You want to come over here and do that?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Young overly loud female coworker: Lots of women's uteruses fall out. (puts hand on extremely pregnant female coworker) Don't worry, that won't happen to you.
Bee Caves Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Just trying to eat my lunch
Attorney: Is this the drawer that’s broken?
Co-worker: Yes. I’ve already told you how to fix it. I mean, it’s not as serious as cancer.
Attorney: Thank you for that assessment.
1999 Harrison Street
Oakland, California
Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
