Wasn't Clitter a Mariah Carey Movie?

Woman to group: Yeah, so she had her baby through c-section.
Surprised woman, interrupting: C-section? Why?
Woman: I don't know, maybe they glued her clitter shut.
Serious woman: Nice, Jane.

Michigan

Posted on July 16, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Questions, Weirdness

But I'll Have to Dock Your Pay for That Hospital Gown

Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on July 15, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Louisiana, Physical Appearance, Questions

It Appears That You Require Additional Tissues, or Perhaps a Spatula

Boss: (blows nose)
Annoyingly nice coworker: Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?
Boss: Are you serious? I'm blowing my nose. How do you want to help?

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lori

Posted on July 13, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Offers and requests

But I Can't Really Read What I Wrote on the Form

Nurse: Okay, so, she's dyin'?
Doctor: I guess.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 13, 2009
Death, Doctors, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Nurses, Pennsylvania, Questions

And I've Already Broken It Twelve Times

Woman to coworker: Did I tell you? My New Year's resolution is to always remember to wash my hands before I leave the bathroom.

Princeton, New Jersey

Posted on July 8, 2009
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Restroom

Those Food Companies Just Don't Have the Balls to Admit It

CSR #1, about recall of peanut butter crackers: I had no idea that peanut butter could contain salmonella.
CSR #2: Yeah, well…nuts can be pretty dirty.

Greenwood Village, Colorado

Overheard by: Bonny

Posted on July 3, 2009
Body Parts, Colorado, Customer Service, Customer Support, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

On the Other Hand, They Can Get Away with Using Expressions Like “Omg!”

Office guy: I spent a year of my life having chocolate milk and a Butterfinger Bar for breakfast.
Office girl: Oh my god! I hate boys! Girls could never do that!
Office guy: That's because women have babies.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on July 2, 2009
Coworkers, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks

Like Gay Men Have to Do

Boss to pregnant employee: Yeah, but it's not like you're growing the baby in your ass!

Calgary
Canadia

Posted on June 26, 2009
Body Parts, Bosses, Canadia, Employees, Family, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

Didn't You Promise Your Parole Officer You'd Keep Your Nose Clean?

Office worker, breezing past receptionist's desk: Hi!
Receptionist, furiously rubbing nose: Got an itchy nose, wanna fight?

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Spydoggie

Posted on June 25, 2009
Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Maine, Receptionists, Violence, Weirdness

How Will You Say “Good Morning” to the Boss?

Coworker to another, fresh out of reconstructive shoulder surgery: You can't even flip people off. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who cannot raise his middle finger.

Financial District
Manhattan, New York

Posted on June 25, 2009
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Insults, New York

Health & Hygiene