Boss: I'm jealous, I wish I had a colon infection.
Falls Church, Virginia
Boss: I'm jealous, I wish I had a colon infection.
Falls Church, Virginia
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Woman to group: Yeah, so she had her baby through c-section.
Surprised woman, interrupting: C-section? Why?
Woman: I don't know, maybe they glued her clitter shut.
Serious woman: Nice, Jane.
Michigan
Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Boss: (blows nose)
Annoyingly nice coworker: Are you alright? Can I help you with anything?
Boss: Are you serious? I'm blowing my nose. How do you want to help?
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lori
Nurse: Okay, so, she's dyin'?
Doctor: I guess.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman to coworker: Did I tell you? My New Year's resolution is to always remember to wash my hands before I leave the bathroom.
Princeton, New Jersey
CSR #1, about recall of peanut butter crackers: I had no idea that peanut butter could contain salmonella.
CSR #2: Yeah, well…nuts can be pretty dirty.
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: Bonny
Office guy: I spent a year of my life having chocolate milk and a Butterfinger Bar for breakfast.
Office girl: Oh my god! I hate boys! Girls could never do that!
Office guy: That's because women have babies.
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss to pregnant employee: Yeah, but it's not like you're growing the baby in your ass!
Calgary
Canadia
