Gripes

4PM Get New Wireless Card

IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…

525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri

9AM They’re Doing the Voices Already

Manager: How dare you besmirch my good name and then saunter into my office as though nothing was said? Out, out infidel!
Writer: Oh…that’s just how I roll.

650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida

10AM Strategy Session

Project Engineer: We have relatively clear instructions, kind of.

4170 Santa Fe Road
San Luis Obispo, California

11AM Call Maintenance…Again

Co-worker #1: It’s so dry in here, I can feel the skin on my face drying up from the inside out.
Co-worker #2: Do you use moisturizer?
Co-worker #1: Oh yes, if I didn’t my face would look just like my grandpa’s…and he’s been dead for seven years.

1301 West Chestnut Street
Virginia, Minnesota

2PM Send Out Another Memo

Co-worker: We work with fucking children. There are boogers all over the bathroom walls again!

6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia

1PM Working Lunch

Co-worker #1: My diet is going really well. I have hardly eaten
anything today.
Co-Worker #2: Oh really?
Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I have had only three hot dogs and two hamburgers.

860 Levoy Drive
Salt Lake City, Utah

11AM Replace Dictionaries

Co-worker #1: I just got tricked into using a pen that shocked me!
Co-worker #2: Oh, no. You okay?
Co-worker #1: Well, shocking throws off your electroids…
Co-worker #2: Electroids? What are those?
Co-worker #1: …Well, electroid is not in here, but this is an old dictionary.

600 Willowbrook Office Park
Fairport, New York

4PM Get More Hole Punches for Office

Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?

59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK

9AM Why, Monday, Why?

Co-worker #1: I’m really tired this morning.
Co-worker #2: Why don’t you try Red Bull?
Co-worker #1: That stuff doesn’t work for me.
Co-worker #2: Well, have you ever tried it without the vodka?

2783 Lancashire Road
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

2PM Managers’ Meeting

Owner: You’ve got to tell me these things. I don’t know everything that’s going on…you’d be surprised at what I don’t know.

2100 Goshen Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana

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