Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Coworker: Those people in the Tsunami, they deserved to die. They were being greedy, collecting fish from the sea…they should have known there are three phases of a Tsunami.
60 Livingston Avenue
St. Paul, Minnesota
Manager: These trainees are useless; they’re just like fungus, and they itch!
Postal Code 112
Ruwi, Oman
Lawyer: We received the claimant’s demand for $300,000 for sexual
harassment. Whether it’s a reasonable demand or not…I wish someone would touch me inappropriately so I could sue.
8 Hanover Square
New York, NY
Overheard by: Pinsy
Smartypants: I don’t know why your voice has to go up five octaves in order for it to be British.
US Capitol Building
Washington, DC
US suit: …a dedicated router.
UK suit #1: I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s actually “roo-ter”.
US suit: A rooter is a swine. If you’re going to be in America, speak English.
UK suit #2: Two hundred years, and they still haven’t gotten it yet!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Big Shot: Well, damn, the printer really is low on toner. I’m not gonna strain my eyes to read this junk. Now I have to reprint the whole document. Guess that’s my reward for trying to take work home over the weekend!
Peon: So, do you want me to recycle the faded pages?
Big Shot: What? No, just toss it.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Employee #1: There’s a double standard around here.
Employee #2: What do you mean?
Employee #1: We all compete at an Olympic level while she competes in the Special Olympics and gets paid more.
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida
Operations Manager: You don’t like peanut butter? You’ve just blasphemed in my office!
10 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, California
Overheard by: Timbleweed
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
