Customer: These new labels are awful. Just awful! Why did you change them? I hate them.
Pharmacist: I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any control over the labels.
Customer: They don’t even tell me when it’s time to refill my ‘scription. When am I supposed to refill my ‘scription?
Pharmacist: … When you run out of medication, sir.
Customer: Well, how in the hell am I supposed to know that?
CVS/Pharmacy
High Point, North Carolina
Male worker on phone: Yeah, I always think your name is Victoria. I said, I always think your name is Victoria. No, I know that. I still think your name is Victoria.
1166 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Duncan
Account Manager: Hey, do you feel like a monkey in the middle of an idiot sandwich?
Process Analyst: That would make you one of the idiots. Are you calling yourself an idiot?
Account Manager: Oh…huh?
5 minutes later.
Process Analyst: Hey, do you feel like an idiot in a monkey sandwich?
Account Manager: Ha! Now you are the idiot!
Process Analyst: No…that still makes you the idiot.
520 Guthridge Court
Norcross, Georgia
Co-worker #1: Hey, I just made up a new job title for myself.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, what is it?
Co-worker #1: I’d like to be called the System Operations Liaison. Or S.O.L. for short.
Co-worker #2: Ha, ha!
Co-worker #1: Man, I crack myself up.
2414 1st Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Man referring to stuffed beaver’s tail with ‘Do not touch’ sign: Can my daughter touch this?
Worker: No.
Man to daughter: You can’t touch it, honey, because Miss Sensory Deprivation over here wants you to touch with your eyes, not with your hands.
Sterling, Virginia
Newly-hired girl: So, Harry*, sometimes I can see the outline of your penis in your pants when you walk by my desk.
7201 Metro Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Director: So what city was Beverly Hills Cop set in?
444 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Man: They are having wild fires out West again.
Woman: Maybe we should send them marshmallows.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Employee on phone with child care center: Ummm, I don’t know… do you have trouble with children escaping?
Canberra, Australia
Overheard by: the entire, amused office
Boss to notoriously unreliable person: Jane, are you writing this down?
Jane: Yes, I am writing this down… in my mind.
Seward, Nebraska
