11AM EOY Staff Meeting

Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?

208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on March 21, 2021
Animals, Canadia, Death, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Questions, Smart Employees

Only Dates Women Who Lie to Him

Grunt #1: How much do you think a golf ball weighs?
Grunt #2: Over a pound, easy.

125 Corporate Office Center
Earth City, Missouri

Overheard by: Matt

Posted on March 20, 2021
Coworkers, Default, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Missouri, Questions

In My Defense, I Also Talk about Sex All Day Long

Chick: Dude, you’re such a poser. You talk about food all day long and then go home and eat salad. You’re not a real fatty like me. Talk to me when you join the club.

500 West 4th Street
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Posted on March 18, 2021
Bimbettes, Diet & Weight, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina

I’d Like to Buy a New Policy, and Then Cancel It

Customer: Why did my policy cancel?
Secretary: For non-payment, sir.
Customer: But I never got a bill.
Secretary: You mean, the one you handed me when you walked in with a due date of January 30th*?
Customer: Yes, that bill.
Secretary: It wouldn’t have canceled if you had paid this bill, sir.
Customer: Well, I’m not going to renew that policy, then…
Secretary: There is nothing to renew, sir — it canceled for non-payment!

977 Yadkinville Road
Mocksville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on March 18, 2021
Customers, Default, General Idiocy, Money, North Carolina, Receptionists, Time Management

…Think It's, Like, Military Code?

Older male student records assistant on phone: Does the word “Firefox” mean anything to you?

Walnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 14, 2021
Education, Employees, General Idiocy, Internet, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Words

4PM Review Mock-up Day Planners

Co-worker #1: Oh my gosh! They didn’t give us a September 31 this year!
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: I’m serious! Look! What is this? Some sort of reverse leap year thing?
Co-worker #2: Yes, that’s exactly what this is. A reverse leap year.
Co-worker #1: Oh that’s so sad, you know, for all the kids whose birthdays are on the 31st.
Co-worker #2: You’re fucking brilliant.

2900 31st Street
Santa Monica, California