Dude: If you really want to save money on gas then you should get a hybrid car.
Chick: Hybrid? Does that mean it runs on electricity?
Dude: Uh…yeah
Chick: Well what happens when the sun goes down?
317 West Main Cross Street
Findlay, Ohio
Overheard by: Crut
Office peon: How many wheels does an 18-wheeler have?
Boss: Let me see your résumé again.
1212 Klockner Road
Gordonsville, Virginia
Overheard by: the office linebacker
Female employee #1: …so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn’t know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun’s light to reach us.
Male employee: That’s depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn’t that’s a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, “Gimme two minutes!”
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!
Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec
Overheard by: Sara
Young wife to husband: You know the guy across the street, Jose*? I think he's gay.
Husband: I don't think he's gay, I think he's just Hispanic.
Belleview, Florida
Overheard by: He married into the family, I swear
CSR: May I have your name, please?
Customer: It's “Kathy.”
CSR: Just to verify, that's “k” for Kansas, “a” for apple, “t” for Tom, “h” for Harry, and “y” for, ummm…uhh…Wyoming?
Customer: Correct.
Quezon City
Philippines
Coworker: Who won the World Cup game?
Supervisor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Coworker: Aw, I wanted the U.S. to win!
Supervisor: Why? The U.S. wins everything. That’s why we have the Olympics.
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Operator: Thank you for calling Bayshore Medical Insurance*; how can I assist?
Caller: So who are you?
Operator: We’re an insurance company.
Caller: And what do you do?
Operator: We help you with your insurance.
Caller: I don’t understand.
Operator: Well, your boss gives you benefits for working there, and our job is to help you use your benefits.
Caller: I don’t have any benefits! I never signed up for this! Did my boss tell you to call me? Is he trying to set me up? Who told you to call me?
Operator: Sir, you called me.
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: The Man
Coworker #1: Hey, can you download this script for me: ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Oh my god, what happened? You were fine just a second ago! What’s that script you want called?
Coworker #1: ‘I’m in Hell,’ and I’m fine.
Coworker #2: That’s weird, having a script called ‘I’m fine’ when you’re in Hell.
Coworker #1: No, not ‘I’m fine’ — ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Seriously? What’s going on?!
Coworker #1: The script is ‘I’m in Hell.’ And I’m fine.
Coworker #2: Wait, what?
Coworker #1: [Sighs.]Boss: This is lamest edition of ‘Who’s on first?’ I’ve ever heard.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Office Ears
Older front desk agent to newer one: Hey, Michael, is your name Peter?
Hotel
Las Vegas, Nevada
Call center worker #1: How do you spell “real”?
Call center worker #2: Umm…I think it’s r-a-e-l.
Call center worker #1: Thanks…Are you sure? That doesn’t look quite right.
Call center worker #2: Yeah. Like Is. Is-rael. Isreal. Yeah!
26600 SW Parkway
Wilsonville, Oregon
