Confused coworker on phone: My day? I just found out that the lead singer of Rush isn't a girl.
Portland, Oregon
Confused coworker on phone: My day? I just found out that the lead singer of Rush isn't a girl.
Portland, Oregon
Coworker #1 to coworker #2, wearing a cast: What did you do to your hand?
Coworker #2: I broke my thumb.
Coworker #1: You need your thumb. That's what makes you not a monkey!
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
Drone to another: I have something that may tie up your loose end.
Kansas City, Missouri
Boss: So, uh, essentially, this meeting is about a meeting we’re going to have. Sometime.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Male coworker: I would take Beyoncé’s face, Beyoncé’s legs, Beyoncé’s arms, Beyoncé’s body, and Beyoncé’s ass and put them all together to make my dream woman… And I’d name her Beyoncé.
4510 Maplecrest Road
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: Bk-Bitch
Self-important guy: Most hot dogs in the US are pretty much vegetarian anyway.
Lexington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused and disgusted
White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Just an office girl…
Delivery lady, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer on the other end: I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza with no sauce and a cherry coke.
Lady, typing on a computer: Okay, a medium pizza with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that correct?
Customer: No. With pepperoni. And a cherry coke.
Lady: Pepperoni… [types again] I’m just pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.
Customer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lady: It’s one of those days where you just shouldn’t have woken up, you know?
Customer: Uh… yeah.
Lady: At least it’s almost over though, right?
Customer: …right….
Lady: So you said you wanted a medium pepperoni pizza, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cherry coke?
Customer: No side of ranch.
Lady: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Customer: …no ranch, thank you.
Lady: Fine, goodnight. [hangs up phone]
Hanover, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Will
Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?
Sydney
Australia
Secretary to another, talking about movie: I know, I am soooo into antimatter!
Austin, Texas
