Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.
900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Assistant #1: So you are Jewish, right? That means you have to eat kosher food and not meat?
Assistant #2: Yes, I have to eat Kosher but I can still eat meat. I just choose to be vegetarian.
Assistant #1: That sucks you can’t eat meat. I really love salmon.
69 Bloor Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Co-worker #1: Can you believe the way that this memo is written? It’s like every statement is questioning.
Co-worker #2: Maybe it was written in Canada.
120 East Washington Street
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Donnie Baker
Management: We’ve got to keep the inertia going.
7234 Lancaster Pike
Hockessin, Delaware
Receptionist: What are the new shirts made out?
Clerk: They’re 100% cotton.
Receptionist: Cotton? That’s the stuff that grows on sheep, right?
Clerk: No, cotton comes from rabbits. That’s why they’re called cottontails.
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Regional Director: So our biggest problem last year was we tried to take over the whole world, and the whole world is a big place. We need to think small, concentrate on taking over individual countries first…like Wisconsin.
2100 South Priest Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Worker: [Bryan]’s sick today; he IMed me and said he needs one of us to come to his house and give him a sponge bath.
1831 Chestnut Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Administrator: [Les], do you have any overdue surveys?
[Les]: No, I don’t.
Administrator: You don’t have any surveys due before the 26th?
[Les]: No, the only surveys I have were due on the 23rd and the 24th.
811 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Boss: Okay, it’s nearly 5, so we’re going to take a different approach to the voting this time. After the meeting minutes are completed, I’ll email all of our ideas to everyone tomorrow, and you can email me back your votes for the best one.
Underling: Are we voting today or tomorrow?
425 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Scheduler: So, I just called this girl in for an interview and she asks me what she should bring with her. Would you ever ask that? That’s so weird. What should you bring? Some tennis balls and a racquet, what do you think you should bring?
700 South Henderson Road
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
