Manager: If man were meant to wear pants, then dogs would wear pants, too.
Kane Hall, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Manager: If man were meant to wear pants, then dogs would wear pants, too.
Kane Hall, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Coworker #1: Yo! Can you send me that link again?
Coworker #2: Which one?
Coworker #1: You know, that one you sent me. With the article about the guy from My Chemical Romance.
Coworker #2: You mean Wikipedia?
Coworker #1: Yeah. I wonder what else is on there.
Internet service provider, 110 Symonds Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Coworker: Have you been to Foreign Brides* dot com? This is what they do — they send you a picture and string you on. Then they say they need a thousand dollars for a flight. I didn’t send it, because I knew! I knew this was a scam.
8 Cambridge Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager: Oh, oh! Are you coughing?
Gagging cube rat: No… I’m… Choking…
Manager, walking on: Oh, good, I thought you were getting sick, too.
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Suit: Hey, which button is the hyphen? [Peon disappointedly points to hyphen key.] Oh, I thought that was called a ‘dash.’
Mortgage company
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Baffled how he gets paid four times as much as i do
Office grunt on cell: Yesterday I couldn’t even spell ‘truck driver,’ and today I are one!
175 Hutchinson Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Hates Walkie-Talkie Cell Phones
Worker bee #1: What’s the name of that movie with Samuel L. Jackson and the snakes on a plane?
Worker bee #2: Snakes on a Plane.
Worker bee #1: Yeah — what’s the name of it?
Worker bee #2: [Sighs.]
Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Andy
Employee #1: Alright, so I could say, ‘One thousand, one hundred twenty-five — the average number of apples on a tree.’
Employee #2: Hey, wait, no — that’s not right. It’s too many.
Employee #1: Well, can you prove it? You would have to count every apple on every tree in the world.
Employee #2: No, I’d just count out of a hundred apple trees and get an average from that.
Employee #1: But that’d be an incomplete average, and I said ‘every tree,’ so you’d have to count, like, pine trees and…
Employee #2: There are no apples on pine trees!
Mapleview Drive
Barrie, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: fellow bewildered worker-bee
Employee #1: It went well. I have to pick some comp– Compet– Um…
Employee #2: Competencies?
Employee #1: Yeah! … What does that mean?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Web developer: That doesn’t count.
Web designer: Neither can your mum.
Web developer: Yeah — I guess it really hampered her 25-year career as a bookkeeper.
Web designer: What sort of books did she keep?
104-108 Dover Street
Richmond Victoria
Australia
