Office drone to another: I learn something new from John every day. I forget what he said now, but I can repeat it right after he says it!
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Office drone to another: I learn something new from John every day. I forget what he said now, but I can repeat it right after he says it!
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Manager: Now why are we being sued on this one?
Employee: Because our client was at fault for the accident.
Manager: We have such idiots for clients! Where the hell do we find such morons to buy insurance from us in the first place?!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Coworker #1: Any family plans for Memorial Day? Do you have kids?
Coworker #2: No, no kids yet…
Coworker #1: Yeah, me neither. I have a bunch of grandkids, though.
Stamford, Connecticut
Peon: Don't get stoned with two birds in one throw. (pause) Wait…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Receptionist to coworker: I have the hiccups, so I need some medical advice.
Madison, Wisconsin
Boss: At least we aren't in Tahiti!
Marketing guy: Tahiti?
Boss: Yeah, I heard they had a bad storm there.
Marketing guy: I didn't hear about that.
Boss: Oh… I think it was an earthquake actually.
Marketing guy: Uh-huh. You mean Haiti?
Boss: Yeah, that's it. An earthquake in Haiti.
Beachwood, Ohio
Overheard by: ~The Cleveland Kid
Boss, during sales meeting: I'm still trying to hire a new salesperson. Actually, Mark* was the best candidate, based on Monica's* recommendation, but he couldn't accept the job. And that happens. So, Monica*, you don't need to feel guilty about wasting anyone's time. Although I don't think you do feel guilty, which is really weird because you're Jewish.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer: Excuse me, maybe you know the answer to this. Are betta fish mythological?
Waiter: Um, no. They're real.
Customer: Well, I know they're real, but are they mythological?
(waiter walks away)
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Goofy redhead: Third world countries are just… so poor.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: And water is just… so wet.
Boss #1: Look at all that red on there!
Secretary: Yeah, well, it's a short paragraph.
Boss #1: Well, you know what they say about guys with short paragraphs…
Boss #2: You get red fast!
Boss #1: It's not the size of the paragraph that matters, it's the frequency.
Oak Brook, Illinois
