Girl: Yeah, I’m trying to apply for chemical engineering, but when I go to fill out the online application, it says that it’s closed, but then it says that the deadline isn’t until March 1st!
Student worker: It’s April…
Clueless co-ed: But..oh…wait…January…February…March…Oh! Oh, so, like, March is before April?
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: m.kyti
Co-worker: I figure, if he sends me to jail, I’m just going to call the judge a cocksucker. ‘Cause at that point, what can he do?
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Guy #1: Hey, remember me? I worked with you guys before.
Guy #2: Yeah, yeah I remember.
Guy #1: Yeah, my mom called here and fired me.
272 E. Main Street
Patchogue, New York
Overheard by: Andrew G
Girl #1: You’re from Utah?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: Do they make you, like, wear bonnets there?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: No.
1000 Longfellow Blvd
Lakeland, Florida
Overheard by: Denise
Boss: Yeah, so when I run a report and it’s taking a long time, I always think, “Am I hung, or what?”.
2202 North West Shore Boulevard
Tampa, Florida
Office dweller: This office is sweltering. The thermometer says it’s 82 degrees in here.
Building heating/AC “expert”: I don’t trust thermometers. Them things are made in third world countries.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Accountant: I’m sorry, were you talking to me? It’s loud inside my head.
1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: John
Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
Boss: He can’t talk to me like I’m his little brother. He needs to act like it’s God on the phone.
159 Jackson Road
Berlin, New Jersey
Overheard by: R. Collins
Agent: How do I reset the copier?
Assistant: Press the Reset button.
Agent: Which one is the Reset button?
Assistant: The big yellow one labeled “Reset”.
Agent: Oh.
16501 Ventura Boulevard
Encino, California
