General Idiocy

3PM Customer Service

Telephone sales rep at airline company: The flight leaves at 10:30.
… No, TEN THIRTY.
… No, TEN… THIRTY…
… It leaves at ten thirty, yeah.
… no… ten THIRTY…”
… at half past ten…”
… No. No. No… It leaves at TEN THIRTY!
… Half eleven, half past ten, ten THIRTY!
… Yes!
… Would you like to make a reservation?
… a reservation..?
… Would you like to reserve a seat?
[Long pause.] … I have not made a reservation, would you like me to make one for you now?
… At the TEN THIRTY flight?
… Yeah, TEN THIRTY…
… No, you have NO RESERVATION!
… DO. YOU. WISH. TO. MAKE. A. RESERVATION?
… No, you have no reservation.
… You have NO RESERVATION!!!
… SHALL I RESERVE A SEAT?
… THERE IS NO RESERVATION MADE!
[Finally caves] Have a nice flight, madam… Yes, ten thirty. Bye.

The Arken-building
Oernskoeldsvik, Sweden

Stephen’s Retroactive Skill With Metaphors Did Not Go Unnoticed in His Quarterly Review

VP: Yeah, and if we go over there, we could get all our stuff back. We have a whole bunch of equipment in China stuck in escargot.
Director: Um…You mean escrow?
VP: What did I say? Escargot? Well that works, too, since it’s so slow in getting back to us.
Director: Sure it does.

45th Street and 9th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: melissa

The Elevator Operators Are Messing with Him

Yuppie #1: You coming out tomorrow night? Gonna be a shit show.
Yuppie #2: As long as I don’t wake up on random floors as I have the past two Thursdays!

5th Avenue
New York, New York

2PM Warehouse Inventory Due

Warehouse Manager: Be sure to take all the plywood runners, and all the woodchucks you can find.
Driver: “Woodchucks”?
Warehouse Manager: Yeah, put them under the wheels to help with traction.

41049 Boyce Road
Fremont, California

…Hello? Hello?

Wireless tech support: Could you pull the battery from the phone?
Customer: I didn't realize these things had batteries.

Millbury, Massachusetts

I’m Talking Quantum-Singularity Black

Manager: Could you make this a lighter red?
Designer: You mean pink?
Manager: No, not pink. A lighter red.
Designer: Uh…
Manager: And this part here — do you have a darker black?
Designer: No, black is pretty much black.
Manager: Well, it needs to be darker than black.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: bobby

Not Physically Possible? Someone’s Never Read the Bible

Office girl #1: Is it raining out?
Office girl #2: No way, it’s sunny! Unless it a sun shower.
Office girl #1: A sun shower is not physically possible.
Office girl #2: Ummm, you’ve never seen it rain while the sun’s out?
Office girl #1: Oh, I thought you meant literally, like giant balls of fire falling from the sky…

Michigan

Overheard by:

Xeno and Phobia Demonstrate How the World Came to Hate Us

Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!

Ithaca, New York

3PM Birthday Cake!

Boss: And happy birthday to [Chris]. Today is his birthday
[Chris]: My birthday isn’t today, it’s in May.
Boss: This [planner] thing is useless.
Employee #2: It’s only as good as what you put into it.

111 South Michigan Avenue
Saginaw, Michigan

12PM Fax Info

Supervisor: I need you to fax this enrollment form to the dental insurance company right away.
Peon: Shouldn’t I make a copy first?

9111 Duke Boulevard
Mason, Ohio

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