Then I Got to Thinking That Maybe I Am Julie and Don’t Know It

Co-Worker: Hello?
Voice on phone: Is Julie there?
Co-Worker: No. I’m sorry, but you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Co-Worker: No problem.

Phone immediately rings again.

Co-Worker: Listen, man, you have the wrong number.
Voice on phone: Are you sure this is your number? I checked, and this is the same number that my friend Julie gave me. Could you call your number and ask her to call me back?
Co-Worker: Sure, just as soon as I get off the phone with you. [Hangs up phone] Jackass.

1200 Sovereign Row
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Posted on August 22, 2019
General Idiocy, Oklahoma, On the phone

Debbie Does Wieners Doesn't Sound Hot at All

Office drone to receptionist: Debbie asked me to make sure her wieners didn't get too hot, and that meant I had to touch them!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on August 18, 2019
Body Parts, Colorado, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

Are You Doing This Deliberately?

Employee #1: Is George Harrison the guy that directed Star Wars?
Employee #2: No that's George Lucas.
Employee #1: Oh, but he was in Star Wars then.
Employee #2: No, that's Harrison Ford.
Employee #1: Oh. Wasn't Frank Sinatra in The Beatles?

Addison, Texas

Posted on August 13, 2019
Cinema, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Music, Questions, Texas

3PM Smoke Break

Co-worker #1: Hey, are your balls getting hot?
Co-worker #2: Quite.
Co-worker #1: I hear a hot laptop kills your sperm.
Co-worker #2: I’m all for it. I smoke the seeds, too.

1759 T Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Brendan B

Posted on August 8, 2019
Body Parts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

4PM Study Coriolis Effect (Urgent)

Manager: I saw it happen when I was in Australia.
Engineer: To be perfectly honest with you, I’ve never studied the direction of water flow in my toilet.

The next 30 minutes were spent experimenting on various containers with holes.

6411 Ivy Lane
Greenbelt, Maryland

Posted on August 5, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Maryland, Restroom, Science and engineering

She Made the Same Mistake with Love in the 1960s

Technician: Ma’am, your Jaguar needs a new engine.
Jag owner: How can that be?
Technician: When’s the last time you had the oil changed?
Jag owner: My salesperson Vinnie* told me the car was maintenance-free, and just bring it in when it needs service.
Technician: No, ma’am, it’s not maintenance-free, it’s free maintenance.

1815 Maplelawn Drive
Troy, Michigan

Overheard by: Vinyl Junkie

Posted on August 3, 2019
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Michigan

4PM Checking Off the To-do List

Co-worker #1: [Sneeze] Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze] Co-worker #2: Bless you
Co-worker #1: Thank you. [Sneeze] Co-worker #2: Stop that!
Co-worker #1: Thank you.

1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia