Oblivious female boss flipping through magazine: Oooh, pooter! I love pooter.
Startled worker: What?!
Oblivious female boss: Look — pooter letter openers!
Startled worker: Um, that word is actually pronounced ‘pewter.’ [Under his breath] Christ.
6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Office peon: Will the office gift exchange be unisex?
Boss (seriously): That's inappropriate in the workplace.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: beth the observer
Director: I don’t think that will cut the mustard.
Manager: You mean “pass muster”?
Director: No, it’s “cut the mustard!”
Manager: I think you’re trying to say you cut the cheese.
8001 Irvine Center Drive
Irvine, Calif.
Overheard by: Pffft
Charity worker: His name was Brandon*, and he was about six and he has Down Syndrome and eye cancer, so he has one glass eye, but you can’t tell. But sometimes it plops out. He also needs a major hip replacement, but he does walk most of the time. He can’t talk. He’s sooo cute.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Bora
Smart girl: Okay, that guy was nice but really kind of creepy.
Girl: Yeah, but he seemed harmless enough.
Smart girl: Sure, but so did Ted Bundy.
Girl: Oh I love that guy!
Smart girl: Wait… what?
Girl: He's the one on Married with Children, right?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: glad my gf is the smart one
VP: How do you spell “only”? Is it o-w-n-l-y?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the man has 3 degrees
Worker #1, jokingly: That's because Trinidadians are loud.
Worker #2, offended: That's so ignorant! You're so gay!
Markham
Ontario
Canadia
Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?
Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.
14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman #1: I’m pregnant again.
Woman #2: On purpose?
Woman #3, sighing: I need a rest from all these ass-wipes that work here. I need a little hospital- and daytime TV R and R.
Montvale, New Jersey
