Co-worker: God, I’m horny. I shouldn’t have worn these tennis shoes.
610 Gateway Drive
North Sioux City, South Dakota
Co-worker: God, I’m horny. I shouldn’t have worn these tennis shoes.
610 Gateway Drive
North Sioux City, South Dakota
Nurse: The patient in Room 39* requested a visit from a Mormon priest.
Chaplain: Really? I’ll have to call one, give me a moment. [Opens notebook] Ah, here we go. [Dials phone, waits] Hi, this is Chaplain Smith* at the hospital. I’m calling about a patient who would like a visit from a Mormon clergy-person. I haven’t visited with the patient, so I don’t know if he is a member of your congregation, but he did specifically request a visit from a Mormon. Feel free to call me back at 555-3418* when you get this message. Thanks. [Hangs up] Well, I left a message on their voicemail. I wonder if the Jehovah’s Witnesses check their messages often.
Nurse: Jehovah’s Witnesses…?
Chaplain: Oh, shit! I called the wrong church!
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: another witness
Intern: I’ve got to start looking for a job.
Secretary: Did you talk to your Placement Office about networking?
Intern: They sent me some contacts. But they were in the Pacific.
Secretary: Did you contact them?
Intern: I don’t even speak Japan.
1010 Gratiot Avenue
Saginaw, Michigan
Supervisor: Don’t worry, [the new procedure] is not that confusing.
Employee: I’m not confused, I always look like this.
202 C Street
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Emery Ann Harris
Female worker #1: I told my customer we should be anthropologists. Do you know what anthropology is?
Female worker #2: You mean like the store?
Female worker #1: No, that's “Anthropologie” with an “i.”
Female worker #2. Then no.
Portland, Oregon
Office dweller #1: What is a civil servant?
Office dweller #2: Like someone that serves you in your house, like a butler.
Office dweller #1: Oh, I thought it was like a post office worker or something.
Office dweller #2: Nope, pretty sure it's a butler.
Cube world, San Diego
Overheard by: Tired of the nonsense
Coworker #1: What country is Switzerland in?
Coworker #2: I think it's in Ireland.
Michigan
Boss: Hey, how do you spell ‘Japanese’? [Peon spells it.] Hmmm, do you think she was Japanese? How do you spell ‘Chinese’? [Peon spells it.] I don’t know if she was Chinese, though… Here’s what we’ll do — [begins typing letter] ‘The child speaks Asian…’ Wait, how do you spell ‘Asian’?
1000 West Central Road
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Overheard by: I work here?
Marketing guy: I don’t want you IT guys wasting a lot of time figuring out what’s wrong before you fix it!
228 East 86th Street
New York, NY
Boss: That lady is from Alabama. I used to visit there when I was a kid. It was only 20 to 30 minutes from my house.
Receptionist: … But you lived in Georgia.
Orange Park, Florida
Overheard by: Tristan
