Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?
Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.
14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Lawyer: Oh, he’s a philanderer?
Legal assistant: No, he works at a paint store.
14340 57th Avenue
Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman #1: I’m pregnant again.
Woman #2: On purpose?
Woman #3, sighing: I need a rest from all these ass-wipes that work here. I need a little hospital- and daytime TV R and R.
Montvale, New Jersey
Manager: B.O.T.A. It's an anagram. Do you know what it stands for? “Bend over and take it up the ass.”
Employee: That's an acronym, not an anagram.
Manager: What? I didn't say acronym.
Oneonta, New York
Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?
(people laugh)
Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!
Manhattan, New York
Coworker on phone: You mean “s” as in “Frank”?
Morris, Illinois
Accounting: I mean, I know how to use Excel. Just not for spreadsheets and stuff.
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Female co-worker: Yeah, these bruises on my legs? I wish I could say they were from S&M. Actually, I was just drunkenly stumbling around.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McN
Co-worker: I think from now on, I’m going to speak in the third person about myself, and I’ll call myself “Angry Chinese clam.” Angry Chinese clam is most displeased with your actions.
120 North La Salle
Chicago, Illinois
