Employee: What I don't understand is, why did god give the bad guys all the oil?
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Government Worker
Employee: What I don't understand is, why did god give the bad guys all the oil?
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Government Worker
Co-worker #1: Man, I could use a nap.
Co-worker #2: I’m right there with you…Well, not right there with you.
111 SW Fifth Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Law Firm Partner: How do you log on to our website?
Secretary: We don’t have a website.
Law Firm Partner: Can make one up real quick? There’s a girl who’s trying to sell us a website and I told her we already have one.
329 18th Street
Rock Island, Illinois
Co-worker #1: So they made me change my password. The old one was really cool. “Sloth,” you know, like the animal.
Co-worker #2: There’s no such animal as a sloth. I think sloth is supposed to be like a sin or something.
1697 Broadway
New York, NY
Suit: We are going to have to leverage everything in order to shift gears.
Employee: What?
615 Third Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dwight Scott
Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.
8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what's the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.
Washington, DC
Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?
4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota
Patient: I’m worried about this birthmark.
Doctor: Birthmark, you say? How long have you had it?
Portland, Oregon
Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.
Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey
Overheard by: Other Salesgirl
