Woman at table with friends: Eskimos are really fascinating. Did you know that they almost always have twins? (friends shake their heads) Oh, wait. I mean sheep.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/now-i-want-some-eskimo-cheese.html
Overheard by: Ian
Co-worker #1: What’s been up?
Co-worker #2: Yeah.
Co-worker #1: You have no idea what I’ve just said.
Co-worker #2: Is that right?
Co-worker #1: Never mind.
10 Mackay Drive
Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia
Paul: When did you lose your virginity?
Mike: Well, I was sixteen. But I touched my first vagina when I was six.
Paul: What?
Mike: Yeah. We were playing a game I like to call, “Dr. Pokey Fingers.”
Stamford, Connecticut
Diner #1: I don't think you want to increase your vascular output for a snake bite.
Diner #2: So no Viagra.
Diner #3: Why would anyone take Viagra hiking?
Diner #2: To keep from rolling out of the tent.
Oak Ridge, Tennessee
Girl #1: That's the last time I ever play the tuba!
Girl #2: At least not with make up on!
Bloomington, Illinois
Blonde: Oh my god, I had the most terrible dream last night!
Distracted-looking friend: Oh, really? What happened?
Blonde: I dreamed that someone told me I could only have one of the plastic surgeries I wanted! I almost cried! (entire elevator stifles laughter) No, really, why are you laughing? It was horrible!
Rome
Italy
Overheard by: struggling to keep a straight face
Straight guy: And why would I be happy turning gay?
Straight girl: Duh!
Straight guy #2: “Gay” means “happy!”
Straight guy: (silence)
Straight guy #2: “Gay” also means “gay.”
Straight guy: I fail to see your point.
Quorum Drive
Addison, Texas
Guy #1: They're making Open Water 2.
Guy #2: That was the worst movie ever, they just float the whole movie. The high point was halfway through when something brushes up against someone's leg. The chick doesn't even get naked in it. They were just floating…just floating the whole movie.
Des Moines, Iowa
Middle aged woman going to sorority reunion: Isn't Spencer's like a five and dime store?
Friend: No! It's a nasty, nasty, dirty store. I can hardly stand to go in there.
Middle aged woman: Well, what did you go there for?
Friend: I had to get a blow-up doll. They didn't have any.
Airport
Birmingham, Alabama
Laura: I guess a part of me could maybe like a baby.
Steph: Not a big part!
Laura: Well, no shit!
Steph: I guess it could be kinda fun…to have someone to take shopping and spank and stuff.
Laura: What a good reason to have a baby–to have someone to spank. Thinking about this gives me anxiety.
Steph: I know, I can't breathe.
Tallahassee, Florida
