Feelings

Committee member: I forgot to bring in my receipts. I am wearing the cone of shame. I have put a reminder in my bra so that when I get undressed tonight I will remember to get those to you.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Sales guy #1: I’m worried about the primaries. I mean, if Obama runs, I would vote for him over the Republicans.
Sales guy #2: Sure.
Sales guy #1: If Hillary runs, I would vote for Satan over her.

Bonner Springs, Kansas

College director in office: I know, it's so sad. Now when I wake up there's nobody licking my face.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Haffy

Girl #1: I should be a professional killer
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
Girl #1: Well, I was really good in riflery in camp. I hate people. And I love wearing black.

40 West 57th Street
New York, New York

Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.
Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?
Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.

Amarillo, Texas

Overheard by: Jeremy

Coworker to office: I love poo: poo is my favorite subject!

Belfast
Northern Ireland

Overheard by: Ally Beare

Mature female manager #1: Let's get beer in paper bags and drink them on the train!
Mature female manager #2: Cool! I've never drunk beer out of a paper bag!

Manhattan, New York

Sales rep on cell: I hope it's not your spleen! Okay, gotta go, Chinese food is here.

Newton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Well they DO make great orange chicken…

Manager: Ow, shit shit fuck shit.
Peon: What’s wrong?
Manager: I accidentally ironed my arm this morning, and now it hurts every time I touch anything with it.

1180 Jefferson Road
Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Cube Farm Worker #5823457

Guy engineer #1: Hey, want a muffin?
Guy engineer #2: Dude, you’re my muffin.
Guy engineer #1, in small voice: I feel uncomfortable now.

E. County Road
Wellington, Colorado