Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Arrogant attorney, in disgust: I would never do yard work. It would make me feel…poor.
Washington, DC
Office employee #1: You're in a really cheery mood today!
Office employee #2: I'm drunk.
Kitchener
Canadia
Supporting actor: This is the first play I've been in where I didn't play a tree!
Orlando, Florida
Drone #1: This sucks. I think I've run out of things to do for today.
Drone #2: I did that a couple of hours ago.
Drone #1: No wonder the economy contracted.
Chicago, Illinois
Geek #1 (about female geek): She's pretty cool–I can hang with her.
Geek #2: Yeah, she's kind of cute and has some personality.
Geek #1: I keep trying to get her to give me a hummer…
Geek #2: Well, yeah, same here!
Geek #1: Because she has a collection of toy hummers in her cubicle.
Geek #2: Ah. Nice.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Richard
Boss, about a customer’s outrage at an e-mail: I think it was the “best regards” that sent him over the edge.
Los Angeles, California
Female grocery stocker to male co-stocker: I laugh when I’m nervous, I can’t help it.
Male co-stocker: Yeah?
Female grocery stocker: Yeah. It’s really bad on roller coasters, I crack up. And I always laugh before the first kiss… And I laughed when I saw my dog get hit by a car… But I felt bad about that.
Alton Road
South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: BARA
Student: Ooooh, grape juice! I love drinking grape juice. It makes me feel like Jesus.
Eastern Kentucky University Dining Commons
Richmond, Kentucky
Guy from server management, analyzing coworker's love life: You're like a lion cub…you don't want to bite yet.
IBM Argentina
Overheard by: Sullivan
