Large effeminate guy with German accent: These are the metallic pencils you do not have! (waves crayola box at employee)
Employee: Okay… Sir?
German guy: Do you know vat I am making? A portrait of Al Pacino! To really capture his manliness! Once I did a picture in charcoal but my art teacher said to really get the effect, I vould haf to burn it!
Joann's Fabrics
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: manybellsdown
Student employee: A girl lost her feet on a roller coaster at Six Flags.
Employee: At least she didn't lose her pants.
Towson, Maryland
Female older admin: That's not my box.
Male supervisor: Well, it was listed as yours.
Female older admin: Not my box. Not my box.
Male supervisor: Well, maybe Kate just thought it looked like yours.
Female older admin: Nope. (pause) I am still missing my box. That is not my box.
Male supervisor: Hmmm, Caroline was missing her box too, maybe this is her box. (louder) Hey Caroline, what does your box look like?
Caroline: What?
Female older admin, under breath: Not my box.
Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
Overheard by: I'm tired today.
Boss man's phone cell on auto text-to-speech mode: Taint defense for dummies.
Baffled employee: What did you phone just say?
Silver Lake, California
Office drone on phone: There's a woman out there. Oh, that's not a woman, that's the governor.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: evelyn
Receptionist to air conditioner repair man: My fanny thing leaks!
Cube dwellers, listening: What?
Receptionist: It drips on my desk.
New Zealand
Overheard by: YOUR WHAT!!!
Employee #1: What shavers do you use?
Employee #2: I use #1 on the face and #2 on my head
Employee #3: You take #1 to the face and #2 on the head?
251 Consumers Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Male employee: So who are some other famous pairs? Tom & Jerry… Bonnie & Clyde… Ren & Stimpy…
Female employee: Your mom and Chuck Norris?
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Elderly woman, exiting bathroom and laughing: Oh, that's just great for someone like me, who's single, selfish and horny!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: what were they talking about..??
Peon: So, why did you come in if you're sick?
Sick secretary: I came in because my boss needed me.
Peon (looking around office): But he's not even here!
Sick secretary (grimly): Oh, he's here. Believe me. He's here. He's definitely here.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: hope he's not here
