Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor
Teller, giving ATM instructions: Now just hit the little button that says “confirm” on the screen.
Customer: Is that the red button that says “cancel”?
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: bankbug
Customer at deli: There's not enough holes in that Swiss cheese. That's no good. There's supposed to be more holes. I don't know whether to get a quarter pound or a half. Let me taste it…alright, give me a little more than a quarter pound…that's too much!
Third Avenue
Manhattan, New York
Woman: Hi, where can I find books on specific countries?
Librarian: Well, which country are you looking for?
Woman: Kansas.
Newton Free Library
Newton, Massachusetts
Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
Guy to librarian: So, I heard y'all umm…loan books here?
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Club Strozier
Woman: Can you tell me what's the temperature in Frankfurt?
Check-in agent: Fahrenheit?
Woman: No, Frankfurt.
International Airport
Mexico City
Mexico
Overheard by: Trece
New client: Excuse me, but I think there's been a mistake. I don't need to see an attorney. I thought I made an appointment to meet with a legal aide… A legal… You know… What are they called?
Legal assistant: No, ma'am. Everyone meets with the attorney. They are the only ones qualified to give legal advice. Otherwise it's considered practicing law without a license.
New client: But I don't need legal advice, I just need someone to tell me what the law says!
Country Club Road
Eugene, Oregon
CSR: Click on the number on the left hand side.
Customer: Okay.
CSR: Okay, did that take you to a different page?
Customer: You want me to type in the number?
CSR: No, click on the number.
Customer: Okay.
CSR: Did that take you to a different page?
Customer: No.
CSR: Did you click on the number?
Customer: I didn’t click on anything.
CSR: Click on the number.
Customer: What number?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: loves three way calling and the mute button
Diner in expensive restaurant, arguing over the bill for his family Christmas party: This wine is a lot cheaper in the grocery store!
Manager: And what would your in-laws think of you if you had the family Christmas party in isle three of a super Wal-Mart?
Illinios Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
