Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.
N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi
Coworker in the middle of a crowd: So he lost a lot of weight, but really, how much do you think a leg weighs?
Wisonsin
Manager: Is Italy a country?
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker #1: Did you have a good weekend? What did you do this weekend?
Coworker #2: Yeah, we went to the Gilroy Garlic Festival, it was fun.
Coworker #1: Oh yeah, is that in San Francisco?
Coworker #2: Uh, no, it's in Gilroy.
Fairfield, California
Overheard by: georx
Cubicle dweller: Oh. So your nipples are squeaky too?
Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
Male co-worker on phone: So my toe is definitely broken. No jogging for at least four weeks. So, you wanna come over tonight? If I can’t run, then at least I can fuck my way to fitness.
Fairfax, Virginia
Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t-shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair
Sexy program manager: Too late. It's in my mouth.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: casayoto
Angry suit: If you can’t get this done I’m gonna escalate it! I don’t know to whom, or how, but I’m gonna escalate it!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Good Luck With That
