Female intern: I’m not sorry.
Male worker: You should be. I missed my deadline.
Female intern: You missed your deadline because you are hungover, like, every day.
Male worker: Compounded by the fact I have to mentor skanks at work!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Blondie
Manager: I'm going to go take my break now. I have to feed my fat roll.
Borthwick Avenue
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: I have one too
Man on phone: Okay, so I heard you have a raccoon in your freezer.
[Pause]Man on phone: How did it get there?
[Pause]Man on phone: Did you kill it? What do you plan do with its body? What do you mean no one wants it?
S. Sycamore Street
Elizabethton
Tennessee
Overheard by: concerned for the racoon
Tech guy #1, rewiring computer network: Is that a “c”?
Tech guy #2: I don't know, I think it's a sideways “u.”
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Mick Lexington
Male coworker: I have all these tricks, I don't know where they come from.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Female marketing executive to male sales executive: Well, you can just suck my imaginary dick!
Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Editor on phone: As a journalist, I don't have to know the answers, I just have to know the questions. (pause) It's not a bad gig, right?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Asian girl: I only know his size in millimeters -it’s 245.
Shoe store clerk: I won’t be able to help you, we only have American sizes and centipedes.
Asian girl: Ok, Einstein. Give me a 24.5 centipede.
Potomac Mills
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
Employee #1: I was watching this travel show where they went to India, and they went to this temple that was filled with rats, but you couldn't kill any of them. That was because it was said that they were people who had died and been reborn as rats.
Employee #2: Well, we sure have a lot of those people here in New York!
Manhattan, New York
New guy: So, do they have benefits here?
Office veteran: Sure! They give us pizza once in a while!
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: G-off
