Loud secretary: "what's that awful smell?"
Engineer, furiously disinfecting desk: "sorry, I just needed to clean my office before I went crazy."
Secretary: "looks great compared to mine. My desk is covered in stuff."
Engineer: "I know. I saw it earlier and had a panic attack. (pause) I'm not kidding."
Columbus, OH
Worker #1, yelling at her computer: Ahhhhhh you're mother's a hussie!
Worker #2: What did you say?
Worker #1: No, not you… I was yelling at my computer.
Worker #2: No, I know, that but what did you say?
Worker #1, embarrassed: Your mother's a hussie…
Worker #2: Oh… I thought you said something else.
Worker #1: You have a dirty dirty mind.
Worker #2: No, not that… I thought you said something else.
Worker #1: What do you think I said?
Worker #2: I thought you said “your mother's a Nazi.”
Staten Island, New York
Overheard by: Stund CoWorker
Purchasing manager: I’m from Tennessee, so I can’t count.
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Office Wench
Manager to round table of employees in staff lunch room: It's true everyone has a smell. If you go into someone's house–you will smell them!
Manhattan, New York
Library patron approaching the desk: Uhhhhh, someone left their pants.
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Emily
Man in lift #1: Hey, how’s it going?
Man in lift #2: Yeah, not bad. The wife leaves for England for nine days tomorrow. Leaving me alone. With the kids… I’m not a man who gets scared easily but…
Pirie Street
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: Brooklyn
Sales guy #1: He said you didn't run stairs, and you're saying you did run stairs. So did you run stairs or not?
Sales guy #2: What else did he say?
Sales guy #1: Well, I didn't want to tell you… but he called you fat, and said you were too fat to run stairs.
Sales guy #2: (shuffling noises)
Sales guy #1: Are you going to cry and move your desk away from mine again? I'm not the one who said it, he… c'mon man, don't move, come on back over here… Fine. Whatever.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Fred
Supervisor woman: I felt something back there and then it was all-out war in my pants!
Wildwood
Jefferson City, Missouri
Manager at employee bathroom: Why is this door propped open?
Waiter: Eric* just dropped a bomb in there.
Manager: Fuck, man, spray that air freshener.
Waiter: I did. The stink actually laughed at me.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
