Distinguished foreign lecturer: We're not sure what these people were doing here or how long they stayed, but they made a lot of fire and left a lot of human remains.
NYU
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Claire H.
Distinguished foreign lecturer: We're not sure what these people were doing here or how long they stayed, but they made a lot of fire and left a lot of human remains.
NYU
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Claire H.
Legal consultant: What is the legal issue today?
Transferring girl: Well, this woman said she took her dead boyfriend's sperm in the hospital and now his mother wants it and said she'll be damned if she lets anyone have his baby. His mom also says she'll carry the baby herself if she has to to get a son.
Legal consultant (after pause): Okay, send her through.
Eden Prairie, Minnesota
Overheard by: Stan
Overly talkative manager: So, to lighten the mood a little on this call, what did you do on your day off yesterday, Steve? Did you get some mini-golf in?
Steve: I was at my uncle's funeral.
Minnesota
Overheard by: HungryHungryHippy
Family: Well, let me ask you this, I mean, she won't look dead, right? I've seen some bodies that look like they are dead and I think that is awful, how do you make the deceased not look “that” way?
Director: Uuuhhmmmmm, well, uhhh, huh?
Funeral Home
Detroit, Michigan
Cube rat: I went to the funnest wake last night.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss to secretary: At my last job, the two tech guys were the happiest. Except for the one that killed himself.
Denver, Colorado
Coworker #1: Well, show her the law.
Coworker #2: If I show her the law, she will take her gun out and shoot me!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Scared to go with her
Worker #1: I don't think he looks like John Candy. I think he looks like the guy who killed John Candy.
Worker #2: With what? Donuts?
Lakeside Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Not paid enough.
