Trashy girl: What time do you close? 10?
Laundromat owner: 9:30.
Trashy girl: Well… Could you like, stay open until 10? So I could get my clothes?
Laundromat owner: (blank stare)
Trashy girl: I mean, could you just, like, not close with my clothes still in here?
Laundromat owner: Lady, as soon as that clock hits 9:30, we out of here.
Queens, New York
Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?
Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: SKippyMom
Ditzy CSR: I totally rocked Guitar Hero last night! I played the best song!
Innocent cube mate: Oh yeah? What song?
Ditzy CSR: You know, umm… That Aerosmith song, “Livin' on a Prayer”?
Only guy in the department: Dude! We live in New Jersey. That's Bon Jovi… I should just end my life now.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!
800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois
CSR: Don’t you slide out of leather easier than cloth?
Hammarlund Way
Middletown, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Weasal whisperer
Customer with CD: Don’t make fun of the Transformers.
Bookseller: I’m not making fun. I had that soundtrack. I lost it in the hurricane.
Customer with CD: Well, you can’t have mine.
Bookseller: I have The Matrix.
Customer with CD: I have the touch.
Passing customer: And I have the power!
Barnes & Noble, Irving Mall
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: shelving drone
Marketing girl: I also want to know why my salad tastes like bacon.
CSR: Maybe bacon bits are in it?
Marketing girl: Nope, I made it myself… My croutons taste like bacon.
CSR: Is that a come-on?
Waltham, Massachusetts
CSR on phone with customer: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't cover vehicles outside the United States.
(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Southington, Connecticut
CSR: Okay, is there anything else?
Underling: No that's it.
CRS: Okay… you have a good day.
Underling: You have a winning day with Jesus!
CSR: Uh… sure, you too.
Atlanta, Georgia
Customer service rep: Weren't you PMSing last week?
Coworker: Apparently, I was just being a bitch.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
