CSR, sighing at computer: Jesus hates me. [Alarmed when notices customer] I didn’t mean that.
Customer: No, it’s okay. He probably does.
1400 Apalachee Parkway
Tallahassee, Florida
CSR, sighing at computer: Jesus hates me. [Alarmed when notices customer] I didn’t mean that.
Customer: No, it’s okay. He probably does.
1400 Apalachee Parkway
Tallahassee, Florida
Old man: Excuse me.
CD store employee: Yes.
Old man: Where do you keep your Negro music?
CD store employee: What?
Old man: Your Negro music!
Grandson: He means rap music.
CD store employee: Oh, over there.
1st Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Male client service monkey: Oh man, I can’t wait to prance around the office in my tights.
Sansome and Sutter
San Francisco, California
Senior counsel, on phone with unfortunate client: It was a two-dump morning. Yeah, it was kind of soft.
Falls Church, Virginia
Caller: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn’t working! Why is it off?!
CSR: Sir, please stay calm. It’s simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you’ve been away for a while.
Caller: How long will that take?
CSR: It’s easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?
Caller: Um, let me see… [Pause] Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in — stocking up.
CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it’s dry.
Caller: What?
CSR: Trust me, sir, I’m a professional. We’ll have your service back on in no time.
Caller: Okay… [Long pause] Alright, done. Now what?
CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver’s magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It’s a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you’re away for most of the year.
CSR presses service reset button, remote satellite transmits ‘wake up’ signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.
Caller: That’s amazing! Who’d have thought… a potato! Will this work every time?
CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.
Bradford Drive
Huntsville, Alabama
CSR, after completing a phone call with customer: He just sounds strange on the phone. He's either foreign or from Canada. I don't know which.
Romulus, Michigan
CSR to another, about client: I'm only servicing you!
Charlottesville, Virginia
CSR: So is there anything else I can help you with?
Customer: I’m not sure; are there any questions I didn’t ask yet?
605 5th Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: listening in
Female CSR: I'd throw something at you, but all I have on my desk is a stapler and a scone. I'm not gonna throw the stapler 'cause I don't want to injure you and the scone is just out of the question.
Male CSR #1: Yeah, that's why I confiscate stuff.
Male CSR #2: Yeah, he took my balls.
San Diego, California
CSR: This is my senior picture in high school.
Manager: You were a cheerleader?
CSR: Yeah.
Manager: What happened?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
