Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum.
270 County Hospital Road
Quincy, California
Coworker #1: See, this is my new man bag.
Coworker #2: Oh, nice! So manly.
Coworker #3: Man bag? Sounds like scrotum.
270 County Hospital Road
Quincy, California
Sales guy: Sooo, how do I get on our intranet again?
His assistant: We put this on your Favorites list, remember? We’ve done this before.
Sales guy: No.. no.. I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Yes, the very first time I showed you how to log in, I had you add it to your Favorites first.
Sales guy: I don’t know, but I know I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Hmm, I can’t remember if it was under a subfolder or not.
Sales guy: What are you talking about?
Pause
Assistant: Okay, let’s start from the beginning… Open up your Internet Explorer….
Sales guy: Okay… done…
Assistant: Now click on Favorites….
Sales guy: Oooh. Is it called [Company Inc]-home?
Assistant: Mmm hmm. That would be it.
Cubicle neighbor: Is this the same voice you use to explain things to your daughter?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Young office dude: Did you see that I called you, like 40 times?
Young office chick: Yeah, I saw that I had stalker calls and it made me feel really special.
San Rafael, California
Boss: So just use a black highlighter to mark—
Assistant: Black highlighter?
Boss: I meant ‘Sharpie.’ Yes, don’t ever get the two mixed up.
Herndon, Virginia
Cube rat: Jason* is a pretty good guy… for a racist homophobe.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Is That All?
Woman #1, looking over cubicle: Rachel is going to be angry that you are sending her so many emails.
Woman #2, turning around: Who gives a fuck?
Woman #1: Seriously, you better watch it. [looks around] She can’t take too many emails, she has to pace herself.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not pacing myself!
Coworker #1: Oh, can’t find the paper clips.
Coworker #2: Can’t find ’em?
Coworker #1: Nope, just like yesterday…where do they all go?
Coworker #2: I don’t know.
Coworker #1: I don’t know either.
Pause
Coworker #2: Do you want some of mine?
Coworker #1: Sure.
Coworker #2: How many would you like?
Coworker #1: Hmmm…well, I just need one for now, but I might need some more later…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha, if you were on Survivor, your treasure would be paper clips.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha, that’s right — dontcha know…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #2: Girl, please.
261 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Cubicle drone #1 (while physically beating cubicle drone #2): You could be replaced by a rubber tree plant!
Bowmanville
Ontario
Canadia
Cubicle dweller on phone: I have no idea how I am going to live my life without you but effective tomorrow I am going to try.
Horizon Way
Irving, Texas
Lady on cell: Hang on, some lady is peeing and I can’t hear you. (pause) No, I called from the bathroom because there’s no privacy at my cube.
Houston, Texas
