Office peon #1: I went to see monster trucks.
Office peon #2: I can’t see you watching monster trucks.
Office peon #1: It was so disappointing. You think there’s going to be all this destruction, but it’s really just a lot of smoke and noise. A flaming man did fall from the ceiling, though. That was pretty cool.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Female coworker: No way! Don't be squirting me with none of your man crap!
Mansfield, Pennsylvania
Coworker: I just can’t do PCP socially anymore. It’s such a mess.
5100 S MoPac
Austin, Texas
Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.
London
England
Overheard by: Who's Frank?
Office drone #1: Hey, did you know the new guy was a mix? Yeah, he's half Haitian and half Mexican.
Office drone #2: Really, no way!
Office drone #1: Yeah, really!
Office drone #2: Hmmm, shows what I know about people, I thought he was white.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Co-worker: That must be why I haven’t been getting any sleep; I moved back to my own desk!
856 William Hilton Parkway
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Coworker entering another’s cube with hole-puncher, stack of paper, and beginning to punch holes: If I do this in my office, then there will be little paper circles all over my floor, and that’s really annoying.
1632 Da Vinci Court
Davis, California
Coworker: It was so good I licked my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Worker #1: Did you see the sign on the copier?
Worker #2: No, what did it say?
Worker #1: “Don’t Touch Craig”.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!
441 East 12th Street
New York, NY
