Peon: Hey, can you help me with something?
Frazzled coworker: Honestly, I’m too wasted right now.
84th Street and Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: sagehen
Peon: Hey, can you help me with something?
Frazzled coworker: Honestly, I’m too wasted right now.
84th Street and Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: sagehen
Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Office grunt slamming down phone: I get an empty meal slot filled and you jizz all over me!
Columbus Circle
New York, New York
Overheard by: Standing Aside
Worker #1: Luke*, you deal in organs, right?
Worker #2: Yeah, man. I got all that stuff.
Carlson Road
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: watching my kidneys
Engineer: What’s the time frame on this? I don’t have time for it right now.
Project manager: ASAP, but it can wait for now.
Von Karman Avenue
Irvine, California
Male peon in restroom: Hey, I didn’t know we had soap in here!
8110 South Harvard Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Icked out female coworker
Office drone #1, rubbing head: I’m so confused.
Office drone #2: Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.
Office drone #1: Uh, thanks, but that’s not what I meant.
Eldridge Parkway and Memorial Drive
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Johnny
Man #1: Yeah, sometimes things are just different.
Man #2: Yeah, sometimes I get rug burn on my love handles.
Home office
Bentonville, Arkansas
Overheard by: SamsGuy
Reporter #1: How should I identify a chicken at a press conference? There was a guy in a chicken suit who refused to give me his name.
Reporter #2: If it was a guy in a suit, I think you’d have to call him an ‘Unidentified chicken impersonator.’
400 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Jack Ace, reporter-at-large
Grunt #1: Seriously, dude, what the hell is up with Ahmed’s* hair?
Grunt #2: I know what you mean. It’s like someone turned up the gamma setting on his head — like, all the way.
555 West Imperial Highway
Brea, California
Overheard by: Yannibmbr
