Lady peon: Argh! John* is so retarded!
Male peon: You say that about everyone. According to you, we could get a tax break with all the mentally handicapped people we employ…
Speer Boulevard and Zuni Avenue
Denver, Colorado
Lady peon: Argh! John* is so retarded!
Male peon: You say that about everyone. According to you, we could get a tax break with all the mentally handicapped people we employ…
Speer Boulevard and Zuni Avenue
Denver, Colorado
Cube rat #1: You want a squirt of this stuff?
Cube rat #2: Sure, I’d like a squirt of your stuff.
Cube rat #1: I just love the ways this stuff smells.
Cube rat #2: And it feels great, also!
Slokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
Coworker #1, writing a vacuum product description: Does ‘extra long’ have a hyphen in it?
Coworker #2: Dude, are you writing spam?
58th Street and 1st Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Cube monkey #1: It’s not like there are a lot of straight people at this office to sleep with.
Cube monkey #2: You could sleep with the IT guy — Harold*.
Cube monkey #1: Ew, he’s a whore. I don’t want to get crotch rot.
Cube monkey #2: What on earth is crotch rot? I’ve never heard of that.
Cube monkey #3: Not only have I heard of it, I have smelled it!
731 Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Anna
Coworker #1: She keeps sending me e-mails from home, wanting me to do all this shit that can totally wait until she gets back in the office… She’s supposed to be on vacation, for Christ’s sake!
Coworker #2: So just tell her to back off!
Coworker #1: Nah… I e-mailed her and told her she should be using this time to relax and recharge, and that we would tackle this stuff once she’s back in the office and refreshed from vacation.
Coworker #2: Wow… That’s the most eloquent ‘Fuck you’ I’ve ever heard!
Carruthers Parkway
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: quite impressed
Male worker #1, pointing at desk: What is that?
Male worker #2: I don’t know.
Male worker #1: It looks like a booger, and it’s not mine!
Male worker #2: How do you know it’s not yours? It’s on your desk!
Male worker #1: Because I eat mine.
Male worker #2: Oh, God…
1574 South West Temple
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Shaun
Cube rat poking head over cube wall: I was just banging you. Did you feel that?
8900 Raintree Drive
Scottsdale, Arizona
Girl assistant: Well, how often do you move your bowels?
Queer assistant: You mean, like, sit-ups?
745 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: finance is funny
Secretary: Can you believe the new temp said her favorite movie was Blow?!
HR director: I am not familiar with that. Look up ‘blow’ on Google.
Accounting manager: I wouldn’t do that if I was you.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Coworker, after snow predicted night before: So, I want to know what happened to the one to three inches I was promised.
Portland, Oregon
