Some Questions Deserve Detailed Answers

Curious office worker: How was your poop?
Man who just finished pooping: It was a magnificent log. I could have paddled across the Atlantic on it.
Curious office worker: Just the Atlantic?
Man who just finished pooping: Yeah, I'm out of shape.
Curious office worker: Oh.

Aberdeen, Maryland

Posted on December 10, 2009
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Maryland, Questions, Restroom, Weirdness

Some Days It's Hard to Stay Grateful for Having a Job

Coworker #1: Look at this guy, he's all dressed up today. What a fag!
Coworker #2: I was gonna wear jeans, but my dog jumped all over me this morning.
Coworker #1: You got a tie under there too? Jesus Christ, what a fag!

Bedford, Massachusetts

Posted on December 9, 2009
Animals, Clothes, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, Physical Appearance, Questions

So You're the One Who Keeps Flooding the Men's Restroom?

Office woman #1, listening to police scanner: Why are all those stupid people out in the rain?
Office woman #2: I understand that when it's time to leave work, you want to leave.
Office guy: I would rather drown than spend another hour here at work than I have to.

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Underpaid

Posted on December 9, 2009
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Office Politics, Questions, Time Management, Virginia, Weather, Wishes

Wouldn't Doing That Turn Them Into Dummies?

Cube dweller to another: If you want the full effects of the Smarties, you need to freebase them.

Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington

Posted on December 8, 2009
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes

You Also Won't See Me Drop My Workload

Male coworker #1: I just couldn't take my eyes off her mound. It was so big and, well, unorganized.
Male coworker #2: Big mounds, seems to be the Monday thing around here. Seen one, seen 'em all.
Female coworker, passing through: Well boys, you must be talking about other people's paperwork again, since we all know you both haven't seen a real mound in the last decade.
Male coworker #2: We were actually talking about your mound. Organize that shit, will ya?
Female coworker, laughing: Never!

Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Michele

Posted on December 7, 2009
Body Parts, Canadia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Offers and requests, Words

Stan May Have Vomited on Wendy Once Too Often

Female coworker to friend: I just don't know what to do… Kissing him literally makes me sick!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on December 4, 2009
Coworkers, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Weirdness

Gay Folks Are So Anxious to Get to the Altar

Gay coworker to female coworker in white dress: You look so “sacrificial virgin” today.
Female coworker: Um… Thank you?
Gay coworker, whispering: What kind of fabric is that?
Female coworker, whispering: Cotton.
Gay coworker: It looks fun.

Charlotte, North Carolina