Coworker #1: Slap chop? Oh, that guy is hilarious!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah, he went to jail. For getting beaten up by a hooker!
Coworker #1: What? She beat him up, or he beat her up?
Coworker #2: He hit her, and she punched him back in the eye. His mugshot has a big black eye in it.
Coworker #1: See, he should have gotten a daintier hooker.
Coworker #2: Yeah… That's the moral of the story.
Reston, Virginia
Male office worker to another: Dude, you smell like my grandma… And my grandma smells delicious!
Des Moines, Iowa
40-something coworker: I have a headache. I need a meat sandwich.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Maybe you should post on Craigslist
Female sales rep #1: You know the one where you bend over and get it right in the spinal cord?
Female sales rep #2: Yeah, I know… kinda surprising.
Female sales rep #1: I'm all bent over and he's like “don't move, I don't wanna put it in the wrong spot!”
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Cook: So I'm going to school to get my MBA.
Waitress: Oh, what's that? “Master's, Bachelor's, and Associate's”?
Fort Worth, Texas
Coworker: Well, if we get killed by the North Koreans before the weekend is out, I just want you to know that I've liked working with you.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jr. Scientist
Sporty employee: I have a swim meet and I'm not ready for it.
Wiseguy employee: Why don't you swim home?
Sporty employee: I would never swim in this water.
Wiseguy employee: That's not the talk of a champion!
Manhattan, New York
Girl #1: I hate our supervisor and her stupid flicky long hair.
Girl #2: I just want to go up to her and just cut her hair off.
Guy: I just want to cut her throat.
Girl #1: I would love to do that, but it's illegal.
Guy: So would cutting her hair, unless you were her hairdresser.
Girl #2: I can just see it now?
Guy: When you go to court?
Girl: When I cut her hair, I was actually aiming for her throat, for this, your honor, I am…
Together: Extremely sorry.
Sydney
Australia
